(Rockville, MD) – The Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ) has found that meditation programs can reduce psychological stress. However, in some cases, the cure may be less palatable than the disease.
The recommended meditation programs include mindfulness programs focusing on awareness of inner and outer experiences.
“These practices can reduce anxiety, depression and pain,” said an AHRQ spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity, “but they could also prove fatal if the person’s outer experiences are so painful that they’re sent into a state of shock. Shock can lead to hospitalization, where there’s always the chance of medical errors, drug-resistant bacteria, and people trying to smother patients with pillows. That probably wouldn’t be calming at all.”
Additionally, much of the American population would be excluded from this therapy, as AHRQ says the best meditation focuses on awareness of acceptance, patience, and compassion.
“This obviously excludes the Republican members of Congress, as well as Republican governors,” continued the AHRQ spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity.