I Did Not … Throw … Stones … At That Politician …

Rand Paul (R-KY)

Senator Rand Paul

(New York, NY) – Senator Rand Paul (R-KY), a possible contender for the Republican 2016 presidential nomination, expressed his views about the supposed “War on Women” being waged by his party, claiming instead that former president Bill Clinton (D-AR) pursued his own war on women. Paul’s appalling comments will no doubt reshape the entire discussion on this war, which it seems, has been taken completely out of context by Democrats.

In attacking Bill Clinton, who will have been out office for 16 years the next Inauguration Day, Paul accused him of “predatory behavior” which, by extension, applies to his wife, Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) who may herself seek the Democratic 2016 presidential nomination.

“Senator Paul feels strongly that the mass media has given President Clinton a pass on what he did,” said a Paul spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “He assaulted a 20-year-old White House intern [Monica Lewinsky] and used his office to get away with it. If ‘To Catch a Predator’ had been on television back then, Chris Hansen would have totally nabbed this guy!”

The spokesman seemed to forget the sham Congressional trial in which Clinton was impeached on December 19, 1998. In 1999, he was acquitted by the Senate.

Democrats immediately cried foul over Paul’s comments, pointing out that it was unfair to attach the sins of a husband to his wife.

“If Senator Paul wants to make the sins of relatives interchangeable, we’re ready,” said a Democratic National Committee spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. And let’s start with his father [former Representative Ron Paul (R-TX), who, starting in 1978 and continuing for 20 years, published a number of newsletters which contained anti-Semitic, racist, and homophobic content. Is that the Senator’s fault? Apparently, now it is.”

Bill Clinton (D-AR)

President Bill Clinton

The “War on Women” comment also drew immediate backlash from other Democrats. “If the Senator feels that President Clinton’s behavior reflects such a war, then let’s see what his colleagues, who now take classes on how to talk to women, have to say about this ‘alleged’ war,” said a Democratic Senate spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. The spokesman proceeded to point out a few examples of the pro-women view of Republican politicians:

  • Herman Cain, 2012 contender for the Republican presidential nomination, had to drop out of the race after several women came forward, accusing him of sexual harassment.
  • Mitt Romney (R-MA), Republican nominee for president in 2012, referred to “binders full of women” during a televised debate with President Obama.
  • Representative Todd Akin (R-MO) claimed he “misspoke” in an interview aired on August 19, 2012 when he commented about the rarity of pregnancy from rape. “First of all, from what I understand from doctors, (pregnancy from rape) is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” Akin did not win re-election in November 2012.
  • Republican Senatorial candidate Richard Mourdock (R-IN) also lost the November 2012 election after he one-upped Akin by saying, “I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen …” Mourdock, too, lost his election bid.
  • Former governor and 2008 presidential candidate Mike Huckabee (R-AK) commented on women’s libido, among other things, at the Republican National Committee’s winter meeting on January 23: “I think it’s time Republicans no longer accept listening to the Democrats talk about a ‘war on women.’ The fact is the Republicans don’t have a war on women, they have a war for women, to empower them to be something other than victims of their gender.” A possible presidential candidate for 2016, Huckabee went on to dig an even deeper grave for himself: “If the Democrats want to insult the women of America by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government, then so be it.”