(Lincoln Park, NJ) – You’re a senior in high school. You still live with your parents, as most high school seniors do, but you don’t like living by the rules they’ve set down.
So what do you do?
You move out – or claim that your parents threw you out.
And once you’re out of the house, you still believe it’s your parents’ duty to pay your private school tuition. You believe it’s their duty to pay your college education. You believe it’s their duty to pay your medical bills. But they refuse to continue to pay for any of the above.
So what do you do?
You find a lawyer with no scruples to take your case and sue your parents.
Such is the case of Lincoln Park’s Rachel Canning, who is currently an honor student at Morris Catholic High School (MCHS). Thanks to attorney-with-no-scruples Tanya Helfan, Sean and Elizabeth Canning are being sued for child support, private school tuition, medical and related bills, college expenses, and legal fees.
Her parents may no longer be paying her private school tuition, but not to worry. She didn’t go out and get a part-time job to support herself. Instead, students at MCHS have been raising money to pay her tuition.
The lawsuit alleges that Canning’s parents “abandoned” her. It also claims that they are more than capable for paying Rachel’s way, since their income is in the $250,000 to $300,000 range.
“She needs this money, she’s entitled to this money, and she needs it now,” said a spokesman for Helfan, speaking on condition of anonymity. “After all, she’s been accepted to several colleges, and if she can’t put down a deposit on a $50,000-per-year school like Harvard, Yale, or Princeton, she’ll suffer by settling for some lower-tier school. Like Rutgers.”
The attorney for Sean and Elizabeth Canning, Laurie Rush-Masuret, said her clients are “not obligated to pay” when it comes to the issue of private school tuition,” according to a spokesman for Rush-Masuret, speaking on condition of anonymity. “However, they will continue to pay her medical insurance and will hand over money from a college fund when appropriate. However, they refuse to stop turning her bedroom into a den.”
“It really doesn’t matter if Rachel ran away from home or if her parents threw her out,” said the spokesman for Helfan, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Since Rachel is still in high school, she is ‘unemancipated’ and still depends on her parents.”
Helfan’s spokesman was asked if Rachel knew what the Emancipation Proclamation was. “No, she doesn’t listen to Hip-Hop,” replied the spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity.
“She’s like, just upset that her parents, like, are being so mean,” said a spokesman for Rachel, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Like, she’s an adult, so, like, she should be able to, like, have a boyfriend that gets suspended and, like, drives a car. She’s, like, an adult, but still wants her parents to, like, pay for everything.”
The Department of Education (ED) is trying to figure out the best way to respond to the situation.
“On the one hand, we don’t want to see this bright young woman denied the opportunity to go a $50,000-per-year college,” said a Department of Education spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “I mean, why should she settle like the 98% of all college-age students that don’t have parents making $250,000 or more per year?
“On the other hand, we don’t want anyone to look down upon any accredited university or college in this country,” continued the Department of Education spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “I mean, there are plenty of excellent $40,000-per-year schools to choose from. And we at the Department of Education believe every college-age average, ordinary, everyday American has the right to attend these schools – and graduate with $250,000 in student loan debt.”