(Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia) – The search for Malaysian Airlines MH370 continues. And every hour that passes produces more theories and more grim assessments about the fate of passengers and crew.
Despite assistance from the United States – the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) has been in Kuala Lumpur for a week – and 12 other countries, Malaysian officials know little more eight days after the plane’s disappearance than they did eight minutes after the plane’s disappearance.
The Boeing 777-200 took off from Kuala Lumpur, bound for China, on March 8 with 239 people aboard – including passengers from 15 countries. About an hour later, the plane suddenly disappeared from radar, and officials now believe its transponder was purposely shut down.
After losing communication with the outside world, the plane made a radical course correction and flew on for another hour. Or two hours. Or three hours. Or four hours. Or five hours. Or six hours. Or seven hours. Or not.
Officials now believe the plane’s disappearance was deliberate. “We’re focusing on the pilots,” said a NTSB official, speaking on condition of anonymity, “because we have to see if they had some ulterior motive. Even though we know little or nothing about them, we’re blaming them until someone comes up with a better theory.”
“The plane may have crashed into the ocean,” said a Malaysian government official, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Or it may have crashed into land somewhere. It all depends on the flight path, and we’ve made up just about every flight path known to man. All we know is the plane can’t still be flying. It’s a Boeing 777, and the Boeing 777 isn’t a hybrid. Now, if they had been flying a Toyota Prius, then yes, they still might be aloft.”
Some officials have begun applying the Occum’s Razor theory: all things being equal, the simplest explanation tends to be the correct one. And while it sounds impossible, the newest theory seems to be the easiest one to explain.
“The plane has completely disappeared,” said a NTSB spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “We can’t find it on water. We can’t find it underwater. We can’t find it on land. So that means it’s not on Earth. At least, not right now.”
The NTSB is theorizing the plane somehow vanished through the space-time continuum. “We believe the plane was, in all likelihood, hit by lightning,” said the NTSB spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Sending 1.21 gigawatts of electricity through the plane, it activated the Boeing’s Flux Capacitor, sending it to another point in space-time. Now, this is only a theory, but it’s the simplest theory. And it would explain how the plane has eluded detection so far.”
When asked if this theory means we’ll never see the plane or its passengers again, the NTSB spokesman said, “No, not necessarily. If it was transported into the future, we’ll eventually catch up to it. We just have to be patient.”