Poor, Poor Congress


“You’re working hard to put food on your family.” – (George W. Bush, January 27, 2000)

“I have a family to feed … ” – (NBA Phenom Latrell Sprewell (after rejecting a three-year, $21 million contract extension), October 31, 2004)


Jim Moran (R-VA)

Jim Moran
(R-VA)

(Washington, DC) – Describing members of the United States Congress as “underpaid,” Representative Jim Moran (D-VA) vowed on April 3 to propose legislation to rectify the situation.

He should have made the announcement two days earlier.

Moran pointed out that average, ordinary, everyday Americans are wrong for believing members of Congress routinely “underperform,” arguing instead that the legislative body serves as a “Board of Directors” for the country.

“The CEOs and CFOs of America’s large companies make millions of dollars per year,” said a Moran spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “So, when you look at it that way, members of Congress are sadly underpaid. It’s a wonder they haven’t taken to cannibalism!”

In addition, Congress has endured a three-year pay freeze … and Moran noted the freeze will shortly extend into another year. During Year Four, Congress will work only 113 days (vs. 260 for average, ordinary, everyday Americans).

The chart below clearly illustrates the cause of Congress’ duress. In the interest of fairness, they illustrate what Congress earns both as an average, ordinary, everyday, 260-days-of-work-per-year American and a 113-days-of-work-per-year elitist:

40-Hour Work Week (260 Days Per Year)
Salary Per
Year
Salary Per
Month
Salary Per
Week
Salary Per
Day
Salary Per
Hour
Days Per
Month
$174,000 $14,500 $3,346.15 $669.23 $83.65 21.67
40-Hour Work Week (113 Days Per Year)
Salary Per
Year
Salary Per
Month
Salary Per
Day
Salary Per
Hour
Days Per
Month
$174,000 $14,500 $1,539.82 $192.48 9.42
United States Congress

United States Congress

According to Moran, the situation is so dire that some members of Congress have taken to living out of their offices to save money. This means, of course, that the office-dwellers live there rent-free, utility-free (electric, water, telephone, etc.), and gymnasium-fee-free.

Moran commented that many members who don’t have to endure the horrors of office-dwelling sometimes have “small little apartment units” that make it difficult to spend time with families. This is a valid point, since all American workers invite their families to visit them during any given workday.

Also, while it’s not OK for members of Congress to live this way, it’s apparently OK for average, ordinary, everyday Americans to live in these “small little apartment units” – and often they live in these units with their families.

“What do you call ‘irony impairment’?” asked an advocate for the poor, speaking on condition of anonymity. “I call it someone complaining about a $174,000-per-year salary … and the same person doesn’t see a problem in raising their salary while refusing to raise the country’s minimum wage to $10.10.”

Given the results of a poll taken in October 2013, Moran and his fellow cronies who subscribe to the concept of Congressional Entitlement should probably think twice before continuing their complaints:

Congress Loses To … Congress Beats …
Cockroaches Charles Manson
DMV Ebola
Dog Excrement Heroin
Hemorrhoids Honey Boo Boo
IRS Lindsay Lohan
Jury Duty Miley Cyrus
Public Radio Fundraising Drives Syria
Toenail Fungus Twerking
Zombies Vladimir Putin
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