Major Political Parties Argue Over Who’s Less Racist

United States Congress

United States Congress

(Washington, DC) – Another Democrat in the House of Representatives has accused the Republican Party, and its supporters, of being racist.

Racism in politics. What else is new?

Representative Steve Israel (D-NY) recently told CNN – taking a five-minute break from its non-stop coverage of the disappearance of Malaysian Airlines MH370 – that “the Republican base [has] elements that are animated by racism.”

Greg Walden (R-OR), appearing on the same CNN program, denied race has any part of Republican opposition to every initiative proposed and/or enacted by President Obama (D-IL/Kenya).

Steve Israel (D-NY)

Steve Israel

John Boehner (R-OH)

John Boehner

“We don’t care what race Obama is,” said a Walden spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “We care about his not being born in the United States, which makes him ineligible to serve.”

Israel was piling on recent statements made by other Democrats. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) recently observed that comprehensive immigration reform is stalled because of race.

“Representative Pelosi believes racism is the reason why Congress hasn’t blindly followed President Obama on every initiative,” said a Pelosi spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “She also believes racism is responsible for Hurricane Sandy.”

House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) insisted on April 10 that there’s no racism in his caucus’ opposition to the White House’s agenda – and grew visibly angry at the suggestion, turning more orange than usual before storming away from a podium.


“The issue isn’t race,” said a Boehner spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “The issue is a difference of opinion on giving tax breaks to millionaires and billionaires. Once Democrats fall in line, everything will be better – for the Americans that matter.”

As a matter of history, Israel has a point. After all, it was Republican Jesse Helms (R-NC) who held a 16-day filibuster against the Senate’s approval of a Federal holiday for Martin Luther King, Jr. Helms opposed both the Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act. And in 1992, he famously cornered African-American Senator Carol Moseley Braun (D-IL) in an elevator, singing “Dixie” to her.

More recently, the Republican Party of Iowa used Facebook to post a flowchart to help readers determine if someone was a racist. As it turns out, if you post a flowchart to help someone decide if they’re racist, then you yourself are, by definition, racist.

Reverend Jesse Jackson

Reverend Jesse Jackson

The January 2014 post was quickly removed from the Internet, and the Iowa GOP blamed the incident on a contractor.

“You just can’t trust these contractors,” said a spokesman for the Republican Party of Iowa, speaking on condition of anonymity. “If the postings had been handled by non-essential Federal employees, whose morale is actually lower than that of Federal government contractors, this never would have happened.

“Oh, yeah. Also, we’re sorry.”

But Democrats have plenty of blame to shoulder when it comes to racism and their base.

In 1984, Reverend Jesse Jackson referred to Jews as “hymies” and New York City as “Hymietown.” He later justified the comments by saying he thought they were off the record.

Reverend Al Sharpton

Reverend Al Sharpton

“Jackson opened his mouth and he got burned,” said a Jackson supporter, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Just because of these comments – which were taken totally out of context – he’s branded as an anti-Semite. That’s just not fair. You should only be judged by your on-the-record comments when it comes to anti-Semitism.”

And in 1987, Democratic darling Reverend Al Sharpton involved himself with the alleged attack on 15-year-old Tawana Brawley. Found with racial slurs sprayed on her with dog excrement, the African-American teen accused six white men – including police – of rape. In the end, a grand jury concluded Brawley had made the whole thing up.

“Sharpton got involved in the case in the name of ‘Civil Rights’,” said a Sharpton critic, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Exactly how is throwing your weight behind someone who’s lying about a rape, and trying to frame innocent people, a civil rights issue?”