Racism on the Ranch

(Bunkerville, NV) – American history is replete with upstanding citizens who have “Bundy” as their surname:

Name Claim to Fame
Ted Bundy Serial killer, rapist, kidnapper, and necrophile
King Kong Bundy Professional wrestler
Carol Bundy Serial killer

Make room for one more.

Cliven Bundy

Cliven Bundy

Nevada rancher and melon farmer Cliven Bundy, 67, is the talk of the town, and until recently was a darling of Tea Partyists. An advocate for states’ rights, Bundy fought off the Federal government with words and an armed band of supporters. The issue: His use of Federal land for his grazing cattle without recognizing he had to pay the Federal government for the use of the land.

Bundy says he does not recognize the Federal government. The Bureau of Land Management (BLM) says Bundy owes over $1 million in taxes and fees.

“Mr. Bundy is a true American hero,” said a Tea Partyist spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “His words ‘I don’t recognize the United States government as even existing’ were nothing short of magic. We can certainly understand his refusal to recognize the illegal government run by the Kenyan in the White House. OK, so he’s refusing to recognize the Federal government. Technically, that’s treason. I guess that could be a problem. But otherwise he’s gold in our book.”

The spokesman’s comments were made before Bundy became a household name on April 23. His utterance of the now-infamous racist comments that would even make Marge Schott blush sent his former supporters – from Fox News to conservative members of Congress – running away like cockroaches. He offered some deep thoughts as he recalled driving past a public-housing project in Las Vegas:

“I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro … in front of that government house the door was usually open and the older people and the kids – and there is always at least a half a dozen people sitting on the porch – they didn’t have nothing to do. They didn’t have nothing for their kids to do. They didn’t have nothing for their young girls to do.
“And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do? They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.”

Bundy followed up these stellar comments by insisting he’s not racist, defending his words, defending his First Amendment rights, and criticizing those who might have been offended:

“If I say ‘negro’ or ‘black boy’ or ‘slave’ … if those people cannot take those kind of words and not be offensive then Martin Luther King didn’t do his job.”

To another interviewer, he added:

“Are they happier now under this government subsidy system than they were when they were slaves, and they was able to have their family structure together, and the chickens and garden, and the people had something to do? And so, in my mind I’m wondering, are they better off being slaves, in that sense, or better off being slaves to the United States government, in the sense of the subsidies. I’m wondering. That’s what. And the statement was right. I am wondering.”

His words were widely condemned – but not entirely – by Americans of all political parties, races, colors, and creeds. From his former devout supporters:

Name Before Comments After Comments
Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) Condemned the Federal government’s attempt to enforce court orders against Bundy “Offensive”
Senator Dean Heller (R-NV) Referred to Bundy’s followers as “patriots” “Appalling and racist”
Fox News celebrity Sean Hannity Led a Fox News campaign that made a hero of Bundy “Beyond repugnant”
Governor Rick Perry (R-TX) “Bundy is a side issue”
Department of the Interior

Department of the Interior

Democrats were quick to criticize Republicans. “The GOP thought it was politically expedient to side with an anarchist,” said a spokesman for the Democratic Party, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And now it’s come back to bite them. They’re getting what they deserve. This is what you get when you side with extremists and terrorists. We Democrats would never do such a thing!”

Democrat-leaning Civil Rights figures were also quick to condemn the comments. Reverend Al Sharpton called for Bundy to appear on his television show to apologize and repent. Of course, in 1987, Sharpton – in the name of Civil Rights – involved himself with the disproven attack on 15-year-old Tawana Brawley.

Jesse Jackson also waded into the fray, calling Bundy a racist. Critics called Jackson’s statement truly ironic, since in 1984 he referred to Jews as “hymies” and New York City as “Hymietown.”

It was just two weeks ago that Democrats and Republicans were arguing who was the less racist party. The jury is still out.

Bundy does have supporters. White supremacist and Ku Klux Klan (KKK) member Frazier Glenn Cross, who is in custody after shooting up two Jewish facilities in Kansas and killing three people several weeks ago, applauded Bundy’s comments.

“The man speaks the truth,” said Cross through his lawyer with no scruples, speaking on condition of anonymity. “There are dozens who feel like Bundy and my client do. Bundy simply had the nerve to say it out loud.”

Former Imperial Wizard and Grand Dragon of the KKK Daniel Carver – no relation to George Washington Carver – seconded Cross’ comments.

“It’s time to wake up, White people!” said Carver spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “The sooner we deal with the problem of filthy [explicative] [explicative] [explicative] [explicative] [explicative], the better off we’ll all be.”

In spite of Bundy’s racist comments being a distraction, BLM officials haven’t given up on collecting what Bundy owes the Federal government. “He can let his cattle graze on Federal land, but he’s going to have to pay for it, just like everyone else,” said a BLM spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “To say he’s different, to say he doesn’t have to pay, that’s just a lot of bull.”