May the Door Be With You

Han Solo

Han Solo

(London, England) – Science fiction is a genre of literature. In reality, it isn’t dangerous in everyday life.

Or is it?

The next Star Wars movie – Star Wars: Episode VII – is being shot just outside of London. It brings back many of the beloved characters from the “original” movies, such as Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher), and Han Solo (Harrison Ford). Even Han Solo’s ship, the Millennium Falcon, is returning.

Unless it tries to kill him again.

The 71-year-old Ford injured his ankle on Thursday during filming. Reports say a door on the Millennium Falcon caused the injury.

“Local law enforcement officials responded to a report of an injury involving a garage door,” said a Scotland Yard spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Millennium Falcon

Millennium Falcon

Those on the set reported Ford was acting “strangely” just before the accident.

“He was in character, but he seemed disoriented somehow,” said an eyewitness, speaking on condition of anonymity. “He was throwing a tantrum about the door. It’s one of those automatic doors that look like a garage door. He was saying the premise was ridiculous because the Millennium Falcon would never be found in a garage.

“He grabbed Luke’s light saber and started trying to incapacitate the door, screaming something about wanting to encase Jar-Jar Binks in Carbonite. Princess Leia tried to calm him by repeating some of the wonderful dialogue she had to endure because of George Lucas. But he just kept on hammering away at that door.

“That’s when it fell on his ankle.”

National Transportation Safety Board

National Transportation Safety Board

Some blamed a poor diet being fed to Ford by wife Calista Flockhart.

“She eats just about nothing,” said a family friend, speaking on condition of anonymity. “No wonder he finally went berserk.”

Representatives from the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) and the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) were preparing to leave Washington for London today.

“We take all incidents involving imaginary spacecraft very seriously,” said an NTSB spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Members of the public seemed shock by Ford’s bout of bad luck.

Occupational Safety and Health Administration

Occupational Safety and Health Administration

“I’ll bet it hurt more than being mauled by a Mugatu,” said a sci-fi poser, speaking on condition of anonymity.

A Star Wars fan quickly pointed out to the poser that the Mugatu is a creature from Star Trek, not Star Wars.

“Star Trek, Star Wars, what’s the difference?” sneered the poser, speaking on condition of anonymity.

The poser’s subsequent beating by fans of both Star Trek and Star Wars left him in intensive care – but not in Ford’s hospital.

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