ISIS Tearing Iraq Apart While Infighting May Tear ISIS Apart

Isis

Isis

(Baghdad, Iraq) – Can’t all Islamic Fundamentalists get along?

Apparently not.

The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), which continues to run roughshod through Iraq, is considered too extreme for Al-Qaeda. Even Iran, the Islamic Fundamentalist republic that uses term like “The Great Satan” and “The Zionist Entity” to refer to its sworn enemies, America and Israel, respectively, is shocked by ISIS’ brutality.

ISIS has captured city after city in Iraq, and by taking over an important Jordan border crossing just today, it now has unfettered access to a wide swath of territory covering both Iraq and Syria. In this commandeered territory, ISIS has begun implementing its 7th Century version of Sharia law.

John Kerry (D-MA)

John Kerry
(D-MA)

Nouri al-Maliki

Nouri al-Maliki

The United States has pledged 300 “military advisors” to Iraq, and Secretary of State John Kerry (D-MA) visited Baghdad today.

“Secretary Kerry wanted to make absolutely clear America’s resolve to stand beside our Iraqi friends,” said a State Department spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Even though we clearly imposed sanctions upon Iraq for over 10 years, killing tens of thousands of Iraqis, and even though we illegally invaded the country in 2003, killing thousands more, we clearly have an interest in seeing Iraq succeed as a country. “Secretary Kerry is clearly very clear about that.”

Even a lawsuit filed by CBS doesn’t seem to phase them – or slow them down.

Many fear that the fall of Baghdad is only a matter of time. But the current Iraqi government of Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki continues to deny there is a potential problem. And it has put its best face forward to calm nations’ nerves.

Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

“I triple guarantee you, we are not worried about ISIS advancing on Baghdad!” said newly reinstated Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, speaking on condition of anonymity. “I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that ISIS will never enter Baghdad! Those who say that ISIS will overrun Baghdad and take over Iraq have no morals! They have no shame about spreading these lies and falsehoods! And those who lie and tell falsehoods will have their stomachs roasted in Hell!”

And, strangely enough, al-Sahaf may be right, as there are signs of cracks from within the ISIS organization. ISIS can agree upon many things – killing Americans, wiping Israel off the map, creating a world governed by Sharia law – but when it comes to the organization’s name, that’s an entirely different story.

“The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria is the term most-used to describe them,” said a Middle East expert, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Of course, the acronym is ISIS. But the name ‘Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant’ has also been used. It’s acronym, ISIL, is less-known. And there’s a real disagreement between Sunni Muslims about the correct term to use.

Ku Klux Klan (KKK)

Ku Klux Klan
(KKK)

“It’s not too dissimilar from the history of extremist groups right here in America,” said a Rutgers University historian, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Take the Ku Klux Klan for example. Following the Civil War, the KKK actually started out as a door-to-door housecleaning service, the Konfederate Karpet Kleaners. They also laundered bedsheets, but racism initially had nothing to do with their company.

“Unfortunately, they soon learned that, with most Confederate homes destroyed, there were no carpets left to clean. While they were in disarray, extremist vacuum cleaner owners took over the company, stole their clients’ bedsheets, and turned it into a racist organization. Sad, but true.”

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