Spielberg May Face Murder Charges

Steven Spielberg

Steven Spielberg

(Los Angeles, CA) – A controversial photograph of director Steven Spielberg surfaced today, threatening to undermine his legacy as one of the greatest filmmakers of all time.

At issue is Spielberg’s involvement with an animal that died – 66 million years ago.

The posting on Facebook, which has since gone viral, shows Spielberg sitting in front of a Triceratops. The dinosaur appears to be deceased, and most have concluded that Spielberg went hunting and purposely killed the animal.

“How could he do something like that?” asked a spokesman for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), speaking on condition of anonymity. “What a shame, and what a waste. I guess billionaires think they can do anything they please.”

The general outrage over the incident threatens to tarnish Spielberg’s legacy. The director is known for works such as Jaws, the Indiana Jones movies, Jurassic Park, and Schindler’s List.

Department of the Interior

Department of the Interior

The National Rifle Association (NRA) is pleased with the photograph’s release.

“We are happy to see Mr. Spielberg exercising his Second Amendment rights,” said a NRA spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “This country was built on gun ownership and hunting, and we’re glad to see the tradition continue.”

The Department of Interior’s (DOI) Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) is looking into the matter.

“We have strict laws regarding animals that can be hunted and those that can’t be hunted,” said a FWS spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “If laws were broken, I’d say Mr. Spielberg is looking at a very hefty fine, since we often base the fines on the size of the animal.”

Hamas

The Face of Hamas

Triceratops weighed between 13,000 pounds (6.5 tons) and 26,000 pounds (13 tons).

Hamas, a Palestinian terror organization which governs the Gaza Strip and is currently close to all-out war with Israel, condemned Spielberg’s actions – because he is a Jew, not because they are opposed to killing.

“Now we see the treachery of the Zionists,” said a Hamas spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “They are bloodthirsty. They are inhumane. And now they are murdering dinosaurs. Where will the madness stop?!”

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