Federal Employees Warned on Porn

United States Congress

United States Congress

(Washington, DC) – The United States of America is facing challenges on all fronts. Islamic Fundamentalists, such as those belonging to ISIS (aka “Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant (ISIL)” and “Islamic State (IS)” and “Al-Qaeda in Iraq”), want to behead us. North Korea wants to attack us with nuclear weapons. The country has a Kenyan in the White House. Millions of average, ordinary, everyday Americans can’t find work. Congress’ approval rating is at 7%.

And Federal employees are watching pornography while at work.

An Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) senior employee has been spending six hours of their official workday watching porn. Over time, the employee downloaded over 7,000 pornographic files – onto a Federal government computer.

The employee’s favorite searches? “Sadism is Beautiful” and “Bare So Horny.” The employee’s current status? Still on the job.

Mark Meadows (R-NC)

Mark Meadows
(R-NC)

Thankfully, Congress is taking action.

North Carolina Representative Mark Meadows, lamenting Federal employees’ “hours and hours of unproductive time” is taking the lead on making sure Federal employees cannot ever watch pornography all day.

“Representative Meadows wants to be clear: Federal employees watching pornography all day is unacceptable and will not be tolerated,” said a Meadows spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity.

“In a bill he’s brought to the House, he suggests limiting Federal employees to four hours per day when it comes to watching pornography and not doing real, actual work.”

“First, Meadows can’t ban porn,” said a spokesman for a union representing Federal employees, speaking on condition of anonymity. “That’s restraint of trade!

“Second, it’s a shame that the employee downloaded over 7,000 items. If they had stuck to a number under 7,000, no one would be investigating them. The lower number is allowed in our Collective Bargaining Agreement.

“And third, it’s a joke that Meadows is complaining about ‘hours and hours of unproductive time’ on the part of Federal employees. If you want to define something as ‘unproductive’ in Washington, just look at Congress. Meadows should look in a mirror.”

And a caveat of Meadows’ bill? Members of Congress are exempt from the porn-watching limitations.

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