Democrats Discuss Decisive and Devastating Defeat in Election 2014

United States Congress

United States Congress

(Annapolis, MD) – Democrats are still silently searching for answers as to why Election 2014 went so badly for them on November 3.

Their silence is deafening.

Election 2014 handed control of the Senate to the Republican Party and increased Republican control in the House of Representatives. Several races for governor also tilted towards the Republicans.

Republicans have since been claiming the election results – which were close in many cases – gives them a mandate.

Barack Obama (D-IL/Kenya)

Barack Obama

“I thought we were against gay marriage?” questioned a Republican Party member, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Perhaps it was their distancing themselves from President Barack Obama (D-IL/Kenya). Given his poll numbers for his job approval hover somewhere in the 40s, it might have made sense to some. But polls in the 40s are a far cry from his predecessor’s poll numbers; George W. Bush (R-TX) was polling in the 20s when he left office in 2009.

Congress’ approval rating, meanwhile, has been stuck below 10% for so long that not even the Rosetta spacecraft – which is orbiting and observing comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko millions of miles from Earth – can get a clear reading.

“Democrats ran away from the President of the United States – a member of their own party,” said a political scientist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And they paid for it. Obama is no Nixon. He’s no Bush. There was nothing to run away from. But run they did, and they paid for it with their political lives.”

And so, at the invitation of Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-MD), Democrats chose to meet in Annapolis at Maryland Democratic Party Headquarters to discuss how they might do better in Election 2016.

Anthony Brown (D-MD)

Anthony Brown

“The location for such a meeting is questionable,” said another political scientist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Maryland is one of the states where a Republican beat the Democratic favorite for control of the state. Essentially, a third term for Governor [Martin] O’Malley was rejected, and Lieutenant Governor Anthony Brown paid for it on Election Day. Not exactly a shining example of what went right for Democrats in Election 2014.”

An anonymous source said Democrats are going through a “period of self-examination” at the Annapolis meeting.

“That’s appropriate,” said yet another political scientist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “In this case, a proctology exam couldn’t hurt. I still don’t think they’ll locate their brains.”

“We have to make sure we are connecting to people in terms of their day-to-day lives and where they feel the government is on their side and that our agenda reflects that,” Mikulski said.

Observers say nothing could be farther from the truth.

Barbara Mikulski (D-MD)

Barbara Mikulski

“First, neither Democrats nor Republicans are ‘connecting’ with the electorate,” said a fourth political scientist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “If politicians were ‘connecting’ with the electorate, 66% of eligible voters wouldn’t have stayed home for Election 2014.

“It’s hard to tell voters ‘government is on their side’ when all voters have seen for six years is gridlock and partisanship. And it’s hard to tell voters ‘government is on their side’ when you see people like Mikulski spending tens of millions of dollars on getting elected to a job that pays only about $1 million over six years.

“The system of government in this country is broken, and no one wants to fix it because members of Congress would rather serve for 70 years than do the right thing.”

Mikulski, who is up for re-election in 2016, has not yet indicated whether or not she will run. If the “self-examination” doesn’t go well this week, she might not want to bother.