The Situation Appears Grimm

Michael Grimm (R-NY)

Michael Grimm
(R-NY)

(Washington, DC) – Eleven months after threatening to throw a reporter off a balcony, it is Michael Grimm’s (R-NY) career that is plummeting into the abyss.

He may soon find his fall broken by a jail cell.

Grimm announced yesterday that he will resign from Congress next Monday. Charged with 20 counts of misconduct related to felony tax fraud, Grimm initially said he wouldn’t resign. The two-term Congressman won a third term – which he won’t serve – last month.

House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) said Grimm’s resigning was the “honorable” thing to do.

“Grimm would have been an unnecessary distraction,” said a Boehner spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Now nothing will distract Speaker Boehner from holding 50 more votes on repealing Obamacare. I mean, only some Republican’s meeting with white supremacists could distract us from this calling.”

John Boehner (R-OH)

John Boehner
(R-OH)

At his sentencing on June 8, 2015, Grimm could face three years in prison. His past behavior won’t make a case to the judge for leniency.

After President Obama’s (D-IL/Kenya) State of the Union in January, Grimm was interviewed by reporter Michael Scotto. To Grimm’s amazement, the questions were not limited to his reaction to the State of the Union speech, but included questions about the charges against him. Infuriated, Grimm verbally abused Scotto and threatened to throw him over a Capitol balcony.

Later that week, Grimm reluctantly called Scotto and apologized, saying he overreacted.

“He’s mostly sorry that the incident was caught on film,” said a Grimm spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity.

The Congressman also appeared reluctant to give up his Congressional seat.

“This decision is made with a heavy heart,” said Grimm, “as I have enjoyed a very special relationship and closeness with my constituents, whom I care about deeply.”

“And by ‘care’ he means he’d throw them off a cliff without a moment’s hesitation,” said a Grimm critic, speaking on condition of anonymity.

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