(Madison, WI — February 16, 2015) – Over the past few months, many Americans have watched in horror as violent acts of anti-Semitism are carried out in foreign lands. They deduced that something was rotten in Denmark on Sunday as a synagogue was attacked in Copenhagen.
Now that the acts of anti-Semitism are on the rise in the United States, it remains to be seen if the horror levels will increase or decrease.
On December 12, a four-year-old Oklahoma boy put money into a toy vending machine at his local Family Dollar store. The machine produced a plastic toy ring with a Swastika as its insignia. This followed the October 2014 incident when Sears offered a silver ring for sale bearing a Swastika.
Wisconsin and Idaho have now officially joined the fray of Jew-hating.
In Madison, WI, 25 to 30 homes were targeted over the weekend, vandalized with Swastikas and other anti-Semitic profanity. Several automobiles were also targeted.
“We want our local Jewish residents to know that we stand with them,” said a Madison official, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And we will find those responsible and bring them to justice.”
“We’ve never seen trouble like this before,” continued the Madison official. “Complaints have largely circulated about vampires driving taxi cabs around the city, but that’s it. Madison is a great place to live – for the live, the dead, and the undead. We don’t discriminate.”
Wisconsin’s governor – and possible 2016 presidential candidate – Scott Walker (R-WI) was more non-committal.
“Governor Walker would like to study the situation before taking a position,” said a Walker spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “In other words, just like his belief in the Theory of Evolution, he’s going to have to punt on this one.”
Maybe the Madison vandals could move to Idaho and stay with 58-year-old Marguerite Haragan?
Haragan assaulted a Jewish neighbor earlier this month, making harassing phone calls, banging on her window, and scratching the word “death” into her mailbox while threatening that the woman had “better believe in Jesus.”
The harassment turned into physical violence as Haragan managed to slap the woman’s face, pull her hair, kick her while on the ground, and compel her to “believe in Jesus” to stop the beating.
“Quite frankly, we didn’t know that Jews lived in Idaho,” said a state official investigating the incident, speaking on condition of anonymity.
One group applauding Haragan’s actions? The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) (also known as “Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant (ISIL)” and “Islamic State (IS)” and “Daesh” and “Al-Qaeda in Iraq”).
“Haragan is just the type of person we’re looking for,” said an ISIS spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “We’re looking to expand into Idaho, and she’s our go-to person. With her help, the Islamic Potato State will become a reality!”