Lynch in Limbo as Legislation Stalls Nomination Vote

Eric Holder

Eric Holder

(Washington, DC — March 17, 2015) – Congressional Republicans hate Eric Holder with a passion. And, yet, their inaction is extending his term.

So much for capably governing.

The nation’s Attorney General has been in the line of fire for his entire six-year term. From opposing States’ initiatives to combat illegal immigration to supporting same-sex marriage, from labeling the post-September 11 practices of the George W. Bush (R-TX) administration as torture to opposing changes to the Voting Rights Act, he’s given Republicans a lot to gripe about.

He was even found to be in contempt of Congress in June 2012 for not turning over documents related to an investigation into Operation Fast and Furious, a gun-running program sanctioned by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF).

“Ironically, there’s a lot of contempt for the Congress,” said a political scientist, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Brian Williams

Brian Williams

Breaking News!

NBC’s Brian Williams claims to have been trapped in Pennsylvania’s Quecreek Mine in July 2002 when nine miners spent over 70 hours underground.

More details to follow …


Mitch McConnell (R-KY)

Mitch McConnell

Given all this rancor, one would think that Congressional Republicans would do anything to rid themselves of Holder. But his chosen replacement, Loretta Lynch, was nominated five months ago, and the Senate has yet to schedule a vote on her nomination.

“Senator [Mitch] McConnell (R-KY) will schedule a vote on Loretta Lynch as soon as Senate Democrats are done holding up a very important piece of legislation,” said a McConnell spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Of course, I speak of the Justice for Victims of Trafficking Act. Now, Senate Democrats are responsible for holding up the works because of one tiny provision they don’t like. Senator McConnell has reached across the aisle to the other side. Now it’s their turn.”

But Senate Democrats contend that the Senate Majority Leader is holding up the nomination vote because, like every other piece of legislation and policy put forth by President Obama (D-IL/Kenya), his instinct is to oppose it.

Loretta Lynch

Loretta Lynch

“Senator McConnell famously said his primary goal was to make Barack Obama a one-term president,” said a Democratic strategist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And this was in the depths of the Great Recession. It seemed to me that his priorities were somewhat out of whack, and sadly his priorities remain the same: embarrass and oppose the President of the United States. I mean, it doesn’t get much worse than sending a letter to the Iranian leadership and lecturing them on Congressional policies and procedures. Maybe he should have read that part of the letter himself.

“And now McConnell won’t take up more than one piece of legislation at a time? I mean, members of Congress work about 100 days out of the year. How busy can they be?”

Loretta Lynn

Loretta Lynn

But not all Senators are supporting McConnell’s tactics. In fact, some of their best and brightest are openly questioning his motives and scratching their heads.

“What I don’t understand is the nomination vote for Loretta Lynch in relation to Senator McConnell’s roots,” said one of the best and brightest Senators, speaking on condition of anonymity. “He’s from Kentucky. Kentucky is coal. That’s how he won re-election in November 2014.

“Now, Loretta Lynch comes from a coal family. She’s a coal miner’s daughter, for Pete’s sake! I saw the movie! I bought the soundtrack! On 8-track! So I really don’t see what the problem is. If anyone should be supportive of her becoming the nation’s Attorney General, it’s Senator McConnell.”

Sadly, the Senator in question is apparently confusing Loretta Lynch with country singer Loretta Lynn.

“That’s what happens when you don’t read the legislation before voting on it,” said a political scientist, speaking on condition of anonymity.