(Washington, DC — May 11, 2015) – Metro’s latest tale may have a different arc, but in the end it’s the same old story.
This morning’s commute became more of a nightmare than usual as smoke once again filled several tunnels in Washington, DC’s 39-year-old subway system.
Another “electrical arcing event” caused major delays on the Blue, Orange and Silver Lines. An arcing insulator at the Foggy Bottom Station shut down multiple stops; smoke from the arc travelled to the Rosslyn Station, which was one of the evacuated stations.
While inconvenient, this morning’s incident does not to be as serious as the system’s January 12 “electrical arcing event.” On that day, the L’Enfant Plaza Station filled with thick, choking smoke and stranded hundreds on a train stuck in the system’s tunnels. Over 80 injuries were reported; one passenger, 61-year-old Carol Glover, died.
Glover’s family is now suing Metro for $50 million.
“As Metro expands service and opens new lines, the overall system is falling apart ,” said an industry analyst, speaking on condition of anonymity. “The system’s General Manager earns over $350,000 per year, and instead of taking a pay cut to a sane salary, service is routinely interrupted, maintenance is cut back, and passengers fork over more money each year for the ‘privilege’ of riding on a train that may or may not kill them on the way to their destinations. I really don’t know what it will take to get Metro back on track.”
For those who think the occurrence of two arcing events just months apart can’t be just a coincidence – well, the terrorists are one step ahead of you.
“We take full responsibility for the events of the morning of May 11,” said a spokesman for the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) [aka the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant (ISIL), the Islamic State (IS), Daesh, and Al-Qaeda in Iraq], speaking on condition of anonymity. “And we take full responsibility for the events of January 12. And we take responsibility for the continued outages of elevators and escalators within the Metro system. And those endless fare increases? That’s us, too!”
“ISIS has threatened to attack transit systems in the past,” said an anti-terrorism spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Now they realize they don’t even have to lift a finger. America’s transit systems are in such decline that these incidents are bound to happen. All ISIS has to do is take to Facebook, Twitter and YouTube and claim responsibility. The fact that anyone would actually believe such ridiculous claims is what’s most frightening.”