Officials Asleep at the Wheel as CFS Day Comes and Goes

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

(Atlanta, GA — May 14, 2015) – Officials at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) prepared today to celebrate the annual Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Day holiday.

One problem: The holiday is celebrated on May 12.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) mainly causes overwhelming fatigue – even with an adequate amount of bed rest. This fatigue can lead to other medical issues, such as impaired cognitive abilities.”

“Many wonder if all 535 members of Congress suffer from CFS,” said a CDC spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity.

The symptom of overwhelming fatigue is apparently what caused CDC’s CFS celebration to be delayed.

“Our hard-working non-essential Federal government employees apparently fell asleep while wearing themselves to a frazzle,” said a CDC spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “They’re continuing to make the preparations, but most don’t seem to know that the holiday was two days ago.

“We don’t have the heart to tell them, so we’ll just let them keep going. I mean, it’s not like they had any meaningful work to do.”

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

No one knows just how many Americans suffer from CFS, but some of the other symptoms (which must last for six or more months) include:

  • difficulties with memory and concentration
  • headache
  • increased malaise or exhaustion
  • difficulties with memory and concentration
  • joint pain (without redness or swelling)
  • persistent muscle pain
  • difficulties with memory and concentration
  • problems with sleep
  • sore throat
  • difficulties with memory and concentration
  • tender lymph nodes in the neck or armpit

Other less-frequent symptoms include:

  • brain fog
  • London Fog
  • difficulty maintaining an upright position
  • ease of lying down
  • balance problems
  • falling down
  • sensitivities to noise
  • fear of being yelled at
  • day chills
  • night sweats
  • death

“CFS is a real and serious disease,” said a CDC employee, speaking on condition of anonymity. “It’s an honor to plan and execute awareness for this terrible condition, and I’m sure that average, ordinary, everyday Americans appreciate zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …”


Additional Information:
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)

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