(St. Louis, MO — June 23, 2015) – Like bell-bottoms and Huckapoos, racism in politics is quickly going out of style.
Or so one might like to believe.
Following the mass-murder on June 17 of nine people by 21-year-old Dylann Storm Roof at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, SC, racism is once again at the forefront of the nation’s political dialogue. And, as long as it’s a hot topic in the spotlight, politicians will disavow any hint of racism in their character.
Then again, politicians will usually say what their constituents want to hear, at any given time, in order to achieve their main goal: Election.
But for now, scores of politicians are tripping over themselves to give back any campaign contributions to Earl Holt III, President of the Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC). Most politicians are stating that they knew nothing of the CCC’s policies and practices, but not everyone is buying their story.
“Yeah, when we got the check with ‘Heil Hitler!’ written in the memo area, we should have become suspicious,” said a staffer for an anonymous politician who received CCC campaign contributions, speaking on condition of anonymity. “That one’s on us. Our faux pas!”
The CCC has been branded as a hate group, but a CCC spokesman denied such claims.
“They’re just looking for a whipping boy in light of what happened in Charleston,” said a CCC spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And our head is on the chopping block this time around. There’s absolutely no reason for it. We love all Americans, no matter how inferior they might be.”
The CCC has, in the past, referred to African-Americans as “genetically inferior.” But their hatred goes well beyond race, singling out “Jewish power brokers” and slapping the label of “perverted sodomites” upon homosexuals. Obviously not happy with the diversification of America, the CCC has lamented the country’s becoming a “slimy brown mass of glop” as time goes by.
Regarding the slaughter at the Emanuel AME Church, the CCC condemned the attack while noting that Roof has some legitimate positions.
The list of politicians who have received donations from the CCC includes some who are running for President in 2016:
|Name||Political Party (State/Country)||Political Office||Amount Donated|
|Ted Cruz||R-TX/Canada||Senator/Presidential Candidate||$8,500|
|Rand Paul||R-KY||Senator/Presidential Candidate||$1,750|
|Rick Sanitarium||R-PA||Senator/Presidential Candidate||$1,500|
|Scott Walker||R-WI||Governor/Presidential Candidate||$3,500|
But Holt isn’t the only racist in town, and politicians are having to distance themselves from other racist contributors – including fellow elected officials.
“It’s unfortunate that we have to return the money,” said a staffer for an affected, anonymous politician, speaking on condition of anonymity. “I mean, even with racism, anti-Semitism, and homophobia, everyone says and does things they don’t mean at some point. But we’re only human, and we’re all Americans. Everyone needs to just forgive and move on. I mean, can’t we all just get along?”
Some racists who will soon be getting refunds include:
|Name of Donor||Claim to Fame|
|Cliven Bundy||In April 2014, the 67-year-old Nevada rancher and melon farmer made a number of racist remarks about African-Americans, forcing some frothing-at-the-mouth Tea Partyists to distance themselves from their former benefactor.|
|Frazier Glenn Cross (aka Frazier Glenn Miller)||On April 13, 2014, the 73-year-old white supremacist, anti-Semite, and Ku Klux Klan (KKK) member – not to be confused with bandleader Glenn Miller – shot and killed two Methodists and one Catholic at a Jewish community center and a Jewish retirement home in suburban Kansas City, Missouri. He screamed “Heil Hitler” as he was apprehended and handcuffed by police.|
|Gabriel Diaz||In May 2014, the 26-year-old taxi driver was caught wearing a Nazi armband while driving his cab and picking up fares.|
|Breanna Mitchell||In June 2014, the Alabama teen took a smiling selfie while visiting the Auschwitz Concentration Camp, proudly proclaiming “I’m famous y’all!” on her Twitter account.|
|Levi Pettit||In March 2015, the University of Oklahoma student was caught on video singing a racist song about African-Americans never being allowed into his Sigma Alpha Epsilon (Σ Α Ε (SAE)) fraternity. The chant, featuring the line “There will never be a [explicative] SAE,” got Pettit – and fellow OU student and fraternity brother Parker Rice – expelled from OU and thrown out of Σ Α Ε.|
|Representative Steve Scalise (R-LA)||In December 2014, it was reported that Representative Scalise spoke before the European-American Unity and Rights Organization (EURO) in 2002. Unfortunately, this is a white supremacist group founded by former Ku Klux Klan (KKK) leader and anti-Semite David Duke.|
|Representative Aaron Schock (R-IL)||In February 2015, Representative Schock made racist comments about people congregating outside his apartment, comparing them with zoo animals.|
|Donald Sterling||In mid-April 2014, racist recordings made by the Los Angeles Clippers owner. He was subsequently banned for life from the National Basketball Association (NBA) and forced to sell the team.|