Davis Free from Prison, Not Free to Deny Marriage Licenses

Mike Huckleberry (R-AR) Trades Places With Kim Davis (D-KY)

Mike Huckleberry (R-AR)
Trades Places With
Kim Davis (D-KY)

(Rowan County, KY — September 9, 2015) – After serving time in prison for defying Supreme Court precedent and not issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis (D-KY) was freed yesterday.

She was greeted by a throng of cheering supporters, including her second (and fourth) husband, Joe “Old Redneck Hillbilly” Davis, as well as presidential candidates Mike Hucklebberry (R-AR) and Ted Cruz (R-TX/Canada).

In giving kudos to Davis, Huckleberry said he would have gladly traded places with her while she was imprisoned. It was very easy to make such a magnanimous offer after her release from prison.

Upon her deliverance from unjust incarceration, Davis revealed that she had written a song to proudly and loudly celebrate her noble cause and convictions – even if they are racist and homophobic. She’s been kind enough to share this inspirational musical number with FLATLINEgov.


Kentucky’s Not My Homo-Home

Well I’m stuck out here in Morehead
Down along Kentucky way,
Yes I’m the clerk –
To some, a jerk –
‘Cause I won’t marry gays.

I need to issue licenses
‘Cause of that Supreme Court?
Well, that’s a sin –
I know I’ll win –
And here is my retort:

You can bet your Bluegrass ass Kentucky’s not my homo-home,
I can’t afford to cross the Lord; the Bible is my tome,
My strict religious values upon which I will avail?
They didn’t stop the licenses but tossed my ass in jail.

That there lib’ral media
Is crucifying me,
And all because
I dropped my drawers
For Husband #3!

Yes, we had twins before I married
Husband #2,
I couldn’t wait,
But hey, he’s straight!
And ain’t black or a Jew!

You can bet your Bluegrass ass Kentucky’s not my homo-home,
I can’t afford to cross the Lord; the Bible is my tome,
My strict religious values upon which I will avail?
They didn’t stop the licenses but tossed my ass in jail.

Now people think I’m prejudiced and that I hate the gays,
I have the urge
To make them purge
Their sinful, evil ways.

And when they reach the Pearly Gates
They’ll have me, Kim, to thank –
‘Cause straight Kentucky is the land
Of Turtlehead and TANK!

You can bet your Bluegrass ass Kentucky’s not my homo-home,
I can’t afford to cross the Lord; the Bible is my tome,
My strict religious values upon which I will avail?
They didn’t stop the licenses but tossed my ass in jail.

Advertisements