In New Hampshire, Candidates Don’t Take Anything for Granite

Dawn of the Brain Dead: Donald Trump Wins the 2016 New Hampshire Primary

Donald Trump Wins the 2016 NH Primary

(Nashua, NH — February 10, 2016) – Choosing not to follow in Iowa’s footsteps, New Hampshire Republicans decided they’d like to see an anti-Hispanic, anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim, anti-Semitic, anti-veteran, homophobic, misogynistic, pathologically lying, racist, xenophobic bully as the next president of the United States.

With almost 98% of precincts reporting, Trump received almost 100,000 votes, or more than 35% of those who voted. Governor John Kasich (R-OH) came in second, and Iowa winner Canadian Ted Cruz (R-TX/Canada) came in a distant third, with about ⅓ of Trump’s total.

Angry that he didn’t win 100% of Republicans’ votes, Trump immediately alienated the 65% by insulting them.

“Mr. Trump wants to thank the 35% who supported him,” said a Trump spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. And, of quartz, he invites the 65% who chose other candidates to drop dead. When he’s president, the first thing he’s going to do is fire and deport those who didn’t support him. So they may as well start packing now.”

Bernie Sanders (I/D-VT)

Bernie Sanders
(I/D-VT)

In choosing Donald Trump (R-NY), the Granite State’s Republicans harkened back to a headline from Britain’s Daily Mirror from November 4, 2004, when it asked “How can 59,054,087 people be so DUMB?” in the aftermath of George W. Bush’s election.

As far as Democratic voters were concerned, they overwhelmingly went for the candidate from next door, Bernie Sanders (I/D-VT). With almost 98% of precincts reporting, Sanders received over 150,400 votes, leading Hillary Clinton (D-NY) by about 55,000 votes.

Many political observers believe Clinton is in real trouble, as 55% of New Hampshire women chose Sanders over the former First Lady and Secretary of State. The voters apparently didn’t take too kindly to being scolded by the likes of feminist Gloria Steinem and former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright. Earlier this month, Steinem was dismissive about women’s support of Sanders. And at a Clinton rally on February 6, Albright proclaimed that “there’s a special place in Hell for women who don’t help each other!”

Hillary Clinton (D-NY)

Hillary Clinton
(D-NY)

Perhaps even more appalling and troubling: Fully ⅓ of Republican women voters went for Trump.

“Women are going to play an enormous role in Election 2016,” said a political analyst, speaking on condition of anonymity. “So it says a lot when so many apparently hate Hillary so much, and think she’s full of schist, that they’d choose to support an anti-Hispanic, anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim, anti-Semitic, anti-veteran, homophobic, misogynistic, pathologically lying, racist, xenophobic bully. It looks like it’s not just Hillary who needs to look in the mirror and figure out what’s gone wrong. And she’d better decide she’s got the apatite to keep going.”

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