Planning for Chronic Illness a Chronic Problem

Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality

Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality

(Rockville, MD — July 13, 2016) – Want to know how to deal with your chronic health problems? Interested in preparing for long-term care during your twilight years? The Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ) is offering assistance to average, ordinary, everyday Americans on both topics.

Given today’s political climate, this planning seems more than timely.

As health care costs skyrocket, out-of-pocket expenses continue to rise, and the American population’s percentage of senior citizens continues to increase, coping with chronic medical conditions will be a problem for decades to come.

AHRQ’s upcoming Webinar promises to discuss options for long-term care and dealing with chronic illness – but it may not have the desired effect.

“I think people are going to learn just how royally screwed they are,” said a health care industry analyst, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Still, AHRQ staff are determined to give it the old college try.

Cantilever Care-Less: Profits Before Patients“Given that the big insurance companies have pretty much bought off every member of Congress, it’s up to average, ordinary, everyday Americans to plan for their own medical futures,” said an AHRQ spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “I mean, you’ll have to sell your Cadillac for a one-month supply of some medications. And if you get sick with some chronic illness, you face the real possibility of bankruptcy. And that’s no fun.”

However, since the AHRQ is part of the Federal government, falling under the Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS), AHRQ staff can spin the grim reality only so far.

“We all know that being penniless and in a dungeon-like facility such as Gaithersburg’s Cantilever Care-Less is going to be the fate of millions of average, ordinary, everyday Americans,” said an AHRQ spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. I mean, they’re known as ‘The Tacoma Narrows Bridge of Health Care’ even within the health care industry.

Donald Trump (R-NY)

Donald Trump
(R-NY)

“They take their slogan ‘Profits Before Patients’ very seriously. If the facility’s director won’t even spend the money to throw down sand and salt in the parking lot during an ice storm – so patients, employees, and visitors repeatedly fall down and injure themselves – what’s that saying?”

Adding additional pressure to the decisions regarding chronic illness and long-term care: The 2016 presidential election.

“If Squirrelhead Donald [Trump] (R-NY) wins in November, I think you’re going to see chronic illness go through the roof,” said a health care industry analyst, speaking on condition of anonymity. “People are going to be physically ill over the election’s outcome, and it won’t surprise me to see a spike in suicides. At least that’ll take the burden off long-term care.”

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