E-mailgate III Rains on Democrats’ Philadelphia Party

Independence Hall

Independence Hall
[photo courtesy of Sick Bird Photography]

(Philadelphia, PA — July 25, 2016) – Three weeks ago, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) cleared presidential candidate Hillary Clinton (R-NY) of any wrongdoing with regard to her use of a private E-mail server located in her New York home’s basement. Clinton was no doubt relieved to put the whole questionable E-mail situation – known as E-mailgate – behind her, never to be troubled by any E-mail-related issues again.


On July 22, WikiLeaks published 20,000 hacked E-mails belonging to the Democratic National Committee (DNC). The contents from the E-mails associated with E-mailgate III have cast a pall on this week’s Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia, PA.

Hillary Clinton (D-NY)

Hillary Clinton

“After a week of the nation witnessing a Nuremberg Rally in Cleveland [the Republican National Convention], the Democratic Party was hoping to showcase how a professional political organization conducts business,” said a political analyst, speaking on condition of anonymity. “But that’s now been shot to hell.”

Tonight’s speakers include Senator Bernie Sanders (I/D-VT), Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), and First Lady Michelle Obama. The star-studded program may not be enough to calm the roiling dissent within the Wells Fargo Center.

The E-mails detail how the DNC did not support Sanders through the nomination process, and actually did its best to sabotage his campaign so Clinton would emerge victorious.

Bernie Sanders (I/D-VT)

Bernie Sanders

Sanders supporter are, to say the least, really, really, really pissed off.

Among the most damning E-mails: DNC CFO Brad Marshall suggested making Sanders’ faith an issue. Sanders is Jewish but has said he’s not very religious. Marshall and DNC CEO Amy Dacey exchanged E-mails hoping to paint Sanders as an atheist.

“This flies in the face of the First Amendment,” said a spokesman for the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), speaking on condition of anonymity. “There is no religious litmus test as to who can serve as POTUS. In fact, there’s 100% complete and total freedom of religion in this country, a fact that many politicians conveniently forget when they’re trying to scare the [explicative] out of voters.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL)

Debbie Wasserman Schultz

“Democratic candidates are, by definition, an extension of the DNC. If the DNC doesn’t immediately fire Marshall and Dacey, it will mean the Democrats aren’t the only major political party running an anti-Semite for POTUS in 2016.”

E-mailgate III has already claimed a different DNC victim: Five-year DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL). Given the erupting scandal, the Democratic Representative announced before the start of the convention that she would be stepping down at the end of the week. Due to the pressure that’s built throughout the day, she now won’t even have the honor of gaveling the convention to order.

In addressing Florida activists this morning, she was resoundingly shouted down and booed, showing just how much of an uphill climb it will be for her to get through the convention week alive.

Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)

Nancy Pelosi

She wasn’t the only Democrat in a leadership position to feel the wrath of E-mailgate III. At this morning’s California delegation breakfast, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), already a polarizing and largely despised legislator, was disrupted, shouted down, and booed as she addressed the delegates. One delegate even shoved a “Bernie” sign in Pelosi’s face.

“We’re not sure the anger towards Pelosi was because of E-mailgate III,” said a political observer, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Many just genuinely hate her rotten guts. They could have been shouting about that. Who knows?”

Pelosi pleaded with the crowd, saying, “The differences that we have are not so great compared to the chasm between us and Republicans.”

“She’s got that right,” said a delegate present at the melee, speaking on condition of anonymity. “If this had been the GOP’s California delegation breakfast, they wouldn’t have shoved that sign in her face. They would have shoved that sign up her [explicative].”

Democratic Platform 2016: "Nominating Who We Want – By Any Means Necessary"

Democratic Platform 2016
“Nominating Who We Want – By Any Means Necessary”