(Off the Reservation, FL — July 27, 2016) – Presidential candidate Donald Trump (R-NY) has endorsed espionage against his main opponent, Hillary Clinton (D-NY).
By definition, that’s treason.
Between E-mailgate and E-mailgate III, Clinton and the Democratic Party have had a lot on their plate. Regarding E-mailgate III, however, there have been rumblings about Russia being behind the release of the Democratic National Committee’s E-mails. Which made Squirrelhead Donald’s plea to Russia all the more shocking:
- They [Russia] probably have her 33,000 E-mails, too. I hope they do. Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 E-mails that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.”
“He’s asking a foreign government to hack into an American’s private account,” said a cybersecurity analyst, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And this is an American with high-level security clearances. Who actually thinks this is a good idea?”
But Squirrelhead Donald didn’t stop there. In another apparent nod to Russia, he suggested that the country could keep Crimea, which it invaded and annexed in early 2014. It was the first time a European country invaded another European country since the end of World War II in 1945.
“There’s no doubt that (Russian President Vladimir) Putin is loving all of this,” said a political analyst, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Putin has praised Squirrelhead Donald on several occasions, and vice-versa. Putin’s winning and he doesn’t even have to fire a shot.
“All I know is that Ronald Reagan (R-CA) stood up to the ‘Evil Empire’ and nearly took us to World War III in November 1983. If he could see Squirrelhead Donald playing kissy-face with Putin, he’d roll over in his grave.”
Many point out that the comments about Russia aren’t paramount with Squirrelhead Donald’s legions of Trumpist Brownshirts.
“All they care about – and by ‘they’ I mean the uneducated, because Squirrelhead Donald likes the uneducated – is what Squirrelhead Donald keeps promising them,” said a political scientist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “They care about the Mexican wall. They care about the lost factory jobs. And they care about getting rid of the Muslim Kenyan in the White House.
“Well, they’re in for a shock. The Mexican wall will never be built. The lost factory jobs will never come back. And President Obama (D-IL/Kenya) is a Christian American.
“Sadly, cozying up to a country run by a despot which has over 1,500 nuclear missiles pointed at us doesn’t register with the inbred.”
Still, given Squirrelhead Donald’s past behavior, others aren’t shocked at the pro-Russian comments.
“Why is everyone so surprised to see that Squirrelhead Donald is pro-KGB?” asked a political insider, speaking on condition of anonymity. “He’s pro-KKK, so why not?”