Trump to Hillary: “Drop Dead!”

Donald Trump (R-NY)

Donald Trump
(R-NY)

(Wilmington, NC – August 10, 2016) ‐ Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump (R-NY) yesterday gave the green light to his legions of Trumpist Brownshirts to assassinate Hillary Clinton (D-NY) if she, as president, did not legislate in ways that were favorable to them:

“If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. Although the Second Amendment people – maybe there is, I don’t know.”

The comments were made as Squirrelhead Donald claimed that a President Hillary Clinton would overturn the Second Amendment by appointing SCOTUS judges who favor strict gun control laws.

Frothing-at-the-mouth Clinton critics are forgetting one important thing: The President of the United States does not have the authority to overturn a Constitutional Amendment. Congress would have to pass the legislation to overturn the Second Amendment, and then it would be voted on by individual States. Thirty-eight would have to approve before amending the Constitution.

“Hillary Clinton does not want to overturn the Second Amendment,” said a political analyst, speaking on condition of anonymity. “She has never said she wants to overturn the Second Amendment, and she’s never introduced legislation [as a Senator from New York] to overturn the Second Amendment.

“It’s just good political theater and a good sound-byte that in the end might get her hurt. Badly.”

Hillary Clinton (D-NY)

Hillary Clinton
(D-NY)

In fact, Clinton addressed the issue during her acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention last month:

“I’m not here to repeal the Second Amendment. I’m not here to take away your guns. I just don’t want you to be shot by someone who shouldn’t have a gun in the first place.”

The National Rifle Association (NRA) was having none of Clinton’s promises.

“You take away the right of anyone to own, hold, and shoot an AR-15 or a howitzer or a bazooka, you take away the rights of all average, ordinary, everyday Americans,” said a spokesman for the NRA, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Establishment Democrats rushed to defend her against the latest attack by Squirrelhead Donald. Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) threw herself in front of Clinton to act as a human shield; unfortunately, the 4-foot-tall Senator only came up to Clinton’s waist.

Paul Ryan (R-WI)

Paul Ryan
(R-WI)

Establishment Republicans, on the other hand, feigned outrage. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-WI) classified Squirrelhead Donald’s comments as a “a joke gone bad” as he shrugged off any darker meaning to his words:

“You should never joke about that. I hope he clears it up quickly.”

“He hopes it ‘clears up’???!!!” exclaimed a Republican staffer who is not in the Squirrelhead Donald camp, speaking on condition of anonymity. “It isn’t a pimple. It’s a threat of political assassination. Eddie Munster is going to really pay for his comments this time!”

“I really don’t see how Establishment Republicans can claim they’re shocked or disgusted or angry about these comments,” said a political scientist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “They’ve been listening quietly, many smirking, as the Trumpist Brownshirts chant ‘Lock her up! Lock her up! Lock her up!’ at rally after rally.

“What the hell did these idiots think was going to happen?”

Michael Folk (R-WV)

Michael Folk
(R-WV)

Indeed, Squirrelhead Donald is not the first politician or citizen to call for physical harm to come to Clinton. On July 15, West Virginia Delegate Michael Folk (R-WV) send out a tweet suggesting she be publicly hanged:

“You should be tried for treason, murder, and crimes against the US Constitution … then hung on the Mall in Washington, DC”

Folk, an airline pilot with United Airlines, was subsequently suspended.

And earlier this month, a parade celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Arcadia (IA) Fire Department featured a “Hillary for Prison” float, complete with a Hillary look-alike in a cage, wearing an orange prison jumpsuit.

“All this proves is that the uneducated are alive and well in America,” said a political consultant, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Squirrelhead Donald says he loves the uneducated, and apparently they love him, too. I don’t know just how inbred the float creators [Kyle Julin, Josh Reetz, and Adam Corky] are, but I’m guessing their lineage doesn’t fall far from a broom handle.”

"Hillary for Prison" Float

August 2016
Arcadia, IA
“Hillary for Prison” Float

As far as Squirrelhead Donald goes, his campaign staff and legions of uneducated, inbred Trumpist Brownshirts continue to play down the alleged billionaire’s fiery rhetoric.

“He doesn’t really want his followers to kill Hillary Clinton,” said a yet-to-be-fired Trump campaign staff member, speaking on condition of anonymity. “He just likes to say that!”

Republicans have a long history of threatening Democratic presidents they don’t like. On November 22, 1994, Senator Jesse Helms (R-NC) spoke ill of President Bill Clinton (D-AR). Citing Clinton’s alleged unpopularity with the military, Helms threatened his safety should he have chosen to visit any North Carolina military base:

“Mr. Clinton better watch out if he comes down here. He’d better have a bodyguard.”

Helms later called the comment “a mistake” and issued an apology for his statement.

“I wonder if he also saw it as a problem because he joked about killing the President of the United States on the 31st anniversary of the killing of another President of the United States?” mused a historian, speaking on condition of anonymity.

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