(New York, NY — August 15, 2016) – The man who became famous for walking around and mumbling “9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11” has now denied that the September 11 attacks ever happened.
Psychiatrists and psychologists are now assessing who’s more insane, Rudy “9/11” Giuliani (R-NY) or presidential candidate Donald Trump (R-NY).
“It looks like presidential candidate Charles Manson (I-CA) is the most sane of the three,” said a member of the American Psychological Association (APA), speaking on condition of anonymity.
Giuliani, who was New York’s mayor when the Twin Towers were hit by airplanes and destroyed, made the claim today that no terrorist attacks attributable to radical Islam occurred during the Shrub (R-TX) presidency:
- “Under those eight years before Obama came along, we didn’t have any successful radical Islamic attacks in the US.”
He added that such Islamic attacks didn’t begin until “Clinton and Obama” got into office.
The problem: Shrub was POTUS from January 20, 2001 – January 20, 2009. The September 11 attacks took place on September 11, 2001.
For the record, Obama (D-IL/Kenya) has been POTUS since January 20, 2009. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) served as Secretary of State from January 20, 2009 – January 20, 2013.
“This is an insult to the 2,753 people who died in New York on September 11, 2001,” said a spokesman for the National September 11 Memorial Museum and Mausoleum, speaking on condition of anonymity. “If anyone should know the ‘how’ and ‘when’ about September 11, it should be Rudy Giuliani.”
Giuliani ran for POTUS in 2008 on a platform of one, singular qualification: He was the Mayor of New York on September 11, 2001. His campaign failed miserably early in the GOP primaries.
Additionally, while the Twin Towers – 1 WTC and 2 WTC – are the most “famous” buildings comprising the World Trade Center site, other buildings were damaged or destroyed in the attack. 7 WTC housed New York City’s Emergency Command Center. Damaged by falling debris, Giuliani was trapped for a time in the building, but rescued long before the structure completely collapsed due to unchecked fires at 5:20pm.
“Maybe some of 7 WTC’s bricks hit Giuliani on the head,” said a historian, speaking on condition of anonymity. “I can’t think of another reason why even a psychopath like him would be able to assign blame for September 11 to the wrong person.”
In addition to the timeline of Shrub’s presidency and the date of the attacks, one must also consider the August 6, 2001, CIA memo, “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US,” which was ignored at the time by Shrub and his national security advisor, Condoleezza Rice. One month later, Osama bin Laden’s minions of death attacked the World Trade Center and the Pentagon in Virginia.
Giuliani’s comments are reminiscent of those made by Jeb Bush (R-TX) during the September 16, 2015, GOP presidential debate. Of Shrub, he said:
- “As it relates to my brother, there’s one thing I know for sure: He kept us safe.”
“It was a crazy statement at the time,” said a political scientist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “I mean, I guess he did keep America safe if you ignore the 3,000 people who died on September 11, 2001. I guess Jeb didn’t really want to think about the 4,400 American soldiers who died in Iraq when he invaded the country under false pretenses, either.
“What is it with Republican [explicative] and their wanting to ignore the [explicative] things they do to this country?”