(Honolulu, HI — December 7, 2016) – Americans today solemnly reflected on the 75th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.
Well, most Americans.
The surprise attack on that Sunday morning in 1941 drew the United States into World War II. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt (D-NY) referred to December 7, 1941, as “a date which will live in infamy” during his speech before Congress the next day; his request for a declaration of war against the Empire of Japan had just one dissenting vote in all of Congress.
The damage to the country’s Pacific Fleet was extensive. About 2,400 people were killed and 1,100 were wounded. The USS Arizona was sunk, killing 1,177 alone.
Given the current toxic political atmosphere, anything can be politicized for even short-term gains, and that’s apparently what has happened today. Once they realized that Pearl Harbor wasn’t a person, members of President-elect Donald Trump’s (R-NY) team announced today a link between the Pearl Harbor attack and President Obama (D-IL).
“We have irrefutable proof that President Obama is responsible for Pearl Harbor,” said a spokesman for the skeletal Kellyanne Conway, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Seeing is believing, and we have the photographic evidence to prove it.
“This is just one more example of how this treasonous Kenyan is bad for America. We’re looking forward to
prosecuting Obama moving on from the past disastrous eight years.”
True to their word, the Trump Transition Team of Terror (TTTT) released a photograph of Obama standing in front of a burning, wrecked battleship at Pearl Harbor.
Fortunately for Squirrelhead Donald’s Trumpist Brownshirts, their lack of education and common sense means they’ll believe the photograph isn’t a forgery.
Fortunately for the rest of sane America, they’ll know the photograph is indeed a forgery.
“It’s insane to think that we’re even having this conversation,” said a historian, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Barack Obama was born in 1961. Pearl Harbor took place in 1941. How in the hell was he supposed to be there?
“If the Trumpist Brownshirt goons would stop clipping articles from the National Enquirer, we’d all be better off.”