Sans Ethics, Senate Begins Squirrelhead Donald Cabinet Hearings

Ku Klux Klan (KKK) with Jeff Sessions (R-AL)

Ku Klux Klan (KKK) with Jeff Sessions (R-AL)

(Washington, DC — January 10, 2017) – Senate Republicans today began the process of ramming Donald Trump’s (R-NY) cabinet picks through their confirmation hearings by hearing from prospective attorney general Senator Jeff Sessions (R-AL).

Let their unethical games continue.

In spite of a history of racism, it looks like Senate Democrats have little or no chance of derailing Sessions’ confirmation.

“This is a guy who supports the Ku Klux Klan (KKK),” said a political observer, speaking on condition of anonymity. “David Duke (R-LA) must be nearly orgasmic at the thought of having someone like Sessions in a position of authority over the Justice Department (DOJ). It could signal a tacit approval for a free-for-all with cross-burnings, lynchings, and attacks on Black Lives Matter participants and supporters.

“This is what you voted for, America. Good luck with that.”

Donald Trump (R-NY) in the Twilight Zone

Donald Trump (R-NY)
in the Twilight Zone

Most of those-who-would-serve in a Squirrelhead Donald administration have either serious moral or conflict of interest issues. And the Office of Government Ethics (OGE) has had little or no time to finish vetting the wealthiest of the billionaires named to serve in Squirrelhead Donald’s cabinet, saying it can take weeks – if not months – to fully complete the vetting process.

“We’ve never had so many millionaires and billionaires to research,” said a spokesman for the OGE, speaking on condition of anonymity. “This administration clearly values net worth over net knowledge, which seems to fit in when you consider that an alleged billionaire with a squirrel’s brain and the lineage of an orangutan is running the show.”

And yet, lead Senate reptile and Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) has resisted calls for postponing the confirmation hearings.

Mitch McConnell (R-KY) in the Art Modell Suite on the 14th Level of Hell

Mitch McConnell (R-KY) in the Art Modell Suite on the 14th Level of Hell

“Turtlehead wants the hearing to go forward as quickly as possible,” said a Congressional historian, speaking on condition of anonymity. “He thinks they’ll sail through so quickly that average, ordinary, everyday Americans won’t notice. Well, Turtlehead can play his shell game all day. Average, ordinary, everyday Americans are wise to him. They’re not stupid. Only the ones who are blindly following Turtlehead and Squirrelhead Donald over the cliff like a bunch of lemmings are stupid. And unfortunately you can’t fix stupid.”

Turtlehead’s actions offer more proof that the 115th Congress has shown it has little or no regard for ethics.

It seems like only yesterday that the House of Representatives sought to gut its House Office of Congressional Ethics (HOCE). That’s because it was last week when the effort, led by Judiciary Committee Chairman Bob “Bittercoffee” Goodlatte (R-VA), collapsed in spectacular fashion.

“After that debacle, I’m sure there were many who thought the 115th Congress would all of a sudden become an ethical legislative body,” said a political analyst, speaking on condition of anonymity. “These are the same idiots who are waiting for Squirrelhead Donald to ‘pivot’ and become more presidential. They should take a chair, because neither will happen.”