Refugee Crisis

Chancellor Squirrelhead (R-NY), Adolf Hitler, and Eddie Munster (R-WI)

Chancellor Squirrelhead (R-NY), Adolf Hitler, and Eddie Munster (R-WI)

(Washington, DC — January 27, 2017) – Donald Trump (R-NY) today signed the death certificate for one of America’s most cherished premises: The welcoming of refugees from around the world in order to help them to escape persecution.

The irony of Chancellor Squirrelhead, head of the Birthers, being so involved in a death certificate cannot be overstated.

The Executive Order, titled “Protecting the Nation From Foreign Terrorist Entry into the United States,” immediately bans immigration from seven specific Muslim-majority countries:

  • Iran
  • Iraq
  • Libya
  • Somalia
  • Sudan
  • Syria
  • Yemen
September 11, 2001

September 11, 2001

Many view this Executive Order as the first of many steps Chancellor Squirrelhead is taking towards fulfilling one of his most odious campaign promises: Establishing a Muslim registry in the United States.

Interestingly, Muslim-majority countries with which Chancellor Squirrelhead has major business dealings – Saudi Arabia, for example – are not on the banned list.

“Chancellor Squirrelhead wants to ban people from countries exporting radical Islamic terrorism,” said a terrorism expert, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And yet the United States remains fully open for business with the country that supplied most of the September 11 hijackers.

“How convenient.”

Chancellor Squirrelhead seems to have forgotten that 15 of the 19 individuals who killed 3,000 people on September 11, 2001, came from Saudi Arabia. The other four came from three more countries not facing an immigrant ban: Egypt, Lebanon, and the United Arab Emirates.

None came from Iran.

None came from Iraq.

None came from Libya.

None came from Somalia.

None came from Sudan.

None came from Syria.

None came from Yemen.

German Transatlantic Liner St. Louis

German Transatlantic Liner St. Louis

“I’m sure that the most-virulent Trumpist Brownshirts are celebrating this Executive Order,” said a historian, speaking on condition of anonymity. “After all, what’s the worst that could happen when you withhold asylum to a suffering, persecuted people?”

These same inbred, racist Trumpist Brownshirts likely don’t know the reference to the German transatlantic liner St. Louis which, in 1939, set sail from Nazi Germany for Cuba carrying 930 passengers, mostly Jews. Cuba refused to allow the passengers to disembark; the United States did the same. In the end, the St. Louis returned to Europe, and while many of the 930 were resettled and escaped the coming Nazi genocide (and survived World War II), over 250 were not so lucky.

And as if the seven-country ban wasn’t enough to betray the founding principles of the country, Chancellor Squirrelhead added that Christian immigrants would get priority treatment over non-Christian immigrants.

“Freedom of religion is one of the founding tenets of the Constitution,” said a Constitutional scholar, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And the Constitution does not specify a ‘national religion’ in this country. Chancellor Squirrelhead has betrayed that by singling out two groups based specifically on religion: The ‘haves’ and ‘have-nots’ – in this case, the Christians and the Muslims.

There Goes the Constitution!

“There Goes the Constitution!”

“For a country that’s supposed to be the shining example of freedom and democracy, this is truly a sad day.

Still others find it morbidly humorous that Chancellor Squirrelhead would choose to “get” Christianity at this time.

“This is a guy who was married to Wife #1,” said a theologian, speaking on condition of anonymity. He had an affair with Wife #2, so he divorced Wife #1 and married Wife #2. Then he had an affair with Wife #3, so he divorced Wife #2 and married Wife #3.

“How exactly is this ‘Christian’ to this hypocritical prick?”