(Washington, DC — January 30, 2017) Donald Trump (R-NY) is “winning” at something; he has succeeded in turning at least half the country against him.
That didn’t take long.
It took Chancellor Squirrelhead a mere eight days – 8 – to reach a 50% disapproval rating, adding to his status as the first illegitimate President of the United States. All other presidential polls show that it took hundreds – if not thousands – of days to reach that magic number:
|President||Days to 50% Disapproval|
|Ronald Reagan (R-CA)||727|
|George H.W. Bush (R-TX)||1,336|
|Bill Clinton (D-AR)||573|
|George W. “Shrub” Bush (R-TX)||1,205|
|Barack Obama (D-IL)||936|
|Donald Trump (R-NY)||8|
Gallup, which has been polling such information since 1945, recorded the numbers before Chancellor Squirrelhead’s controversial immigration ban was implemented.
“The writing has been on the wall since Inauguration Day,” said a historian, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Chancellor Squirrelhead has been too busy arguing that his inaugural crowd numbers were the biggest ever, when in reality they were some of the smallest ever, to actually do his job. Or at least the job a president is supposed to do.
“Eight days to a majority of the country hating the way you’re conducting yourself? That’s nothing short of tremendous.”
Proof of this hatred has manifested itself in many ways, including nationwide protests against Chancellor Squirrelhead’s regime. Now it appears that some of those who supported and voted for him in November are regretting their decision.
“Twitter accounts such as @Trump_Regrets and #Trumpgrets have sprung up,” said a social media expert, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And I’m sure more will be created in the days, weeks, and months to come.
“Chancellor Squirrelhead ran his campaign on Twitter. His press outreach goes through Twitter. Now those who hate his guts are organizing and taking to Twitter to fight him. It’s about time.
“I just hope that their buyer’s remorse isn’t too late.”
While some are venting on Twitter, others are contacting those who are venting to try and figure out why they bothered voting for Chancellor Squirrelhead in the first place. So far, there are no definitive answers.
“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” said a regretful Trumpist Brownshirt, speaking on condition of anonymity.