Sitting Bull

Donald Trump (R-NY)

Donald Trump
(R-NY)

(Washington, DC — February 12, 2017) – Donald Trump’s (R-NY) “Racist Moniker World Tour” shows no signs of slowing down, as the rodent-adorned bully took aim at an old yet familiar target this week.

And in spite of the outrage, and in spite of the victim, he persisted.

At a bipartisan Congressional luncheon on February 9, Chancellor Squirrelhead launched into one of his famous tirades, and this week’s main target was Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA). He was presumably angry about Warren’s attack on now-attorney general Jeff Sessions (R-AL) during his Senate hearings.

“What’s funny is that Warren lost,” said a political strategist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “She spoke out against Sessions and was told to sit down and shut up by Turtlehead (R-KY) because she allegedly impugned Sessions’ character. In the end, she persisted #ShePersisted Twitter Resource but that racist piece of slime is now our attorney general.

Mitch McConnell (R-KY)

Mitch McConnell
(R-KY)

“So what the hell is he complaining about?”

According to several sources at the luncheon, Chancellor Squirrelhead informed Democrats that Warren is “now the face of your party.”

“But he didn’t say that ‘Elizabeth Warren’ is the face of the Democratic Party,” said an eyewitness, speaking on condition of anonymity. “He used the term ‘Pocahontas’ to refer to Warren.

“What a racist prick!”

Chancellor Squirrelhead used the name “Pocahontas” to refer to Warren during the 2016 presidential campaign, referencing her Cherokee lineage. It was just one of the many monikers with which he tagged his detractors.

“Warren should consider herself lucky,” said a political observer, speaking on condition of anonymity. “At least he didn’t resurrect the ‘Goofy Elizabeth Warren’ nickname.”

Elizabeth Warren (D-MA)

Elizabeth Warren
(D-MA)

Others were bewildered at the resurrection of an offensive, racist, pejorative term.

“Should someone who wears a dead squirrel on his head be calling people names?” asked a political strategist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Should someone whose political party boasts a leader with a turtle’s head be calling people names? Should a pathological liar who throws the bull around as well as anyone we’ve ever seen be taunting others? Does anyone know if he can even see the irony in all of this?

“My guess is that when asked about ‘irony’ he’d respond that he sends his foreign-made shirts out to a service.”

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