Arizona a Pain in the Assets

Donald Trump (R-NY) in the Art Modell Suite on the 14th Level of Hell

Donald Trump (R-NY) in the Art Modell Suite on the 14th Level of Hell

(Phoenix, AZ — February 23, 2017) – Tired of the daily protests against their Führer, Arizona state senators voted yesterday to violate the United States Constitution by violating their own constituents.

SB1142 – the “Take Those Worthless Un-American Democrats and Shut ‘Em Down Act” – expands Arizona’s organized crime laws and applies them to average, everyday citizens who have the audacity to assemble to present their grievances to their elected officials.

The legislation passed the Arizona Senate along party lines, 17-13; it now heads to the Arizona House.

“This bill allows Arizona officials to arrest and prosecute any protester who either plans or participates in a protest,” said a legal scholar, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And then Arizona gets to seize their assets – a type of ‘additional punishment’ for challenging those in power.

“That is a crystal-clear violation of the Constitution’s First Amendment, and I don’t see how this legislation, should it become law, would be upheld.”

Legislators who support SB1142 say it’s necessary because the protesters are nothing more than paid participants in the wave of protests against Donald Trump (R-NY) seen this year.

Arizona State Legislature

Arizona State Legislature

Need more proof of the Republican Arizona state legislature trying to quash dissent? SB1142 applies only to Democrats, Independents, and people who aren’t white.

“Should a Republican be accidentally arrested, prosecuted, or assaulted, an apology will be issued and they will be immediately freed,” said an Arizona Senate spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. “We don’t want to send the wrong message here. We want to stop the wrong people from voicing their concerns. In short, we want to eliminate the furor over our Führer.”

Some Republican Arizona legislators are reportedly supporting this controversial legislation in an attempt to prevent an incident such as the Bowling Green Massacre, the Atlanta Massacre, the Slaughter at Fraggle Rock, and the Swedish Massaker from happening in their backyard.