(Washington, DC — February 25, 2017) – Republicans have been promising to repeal and replace Obamacare since March 23, 2010 – the day it was signed into law. Six years and 11 months later, they still have no viable plan for a replacement of the signature health care law.
It turns out they may not need one.
GOP strategists have discovered that there’s already a law on the books that provides for quality, affordable heath care coverage for all Americans: Public Law 111-148 . Among other important features, it forbids insurance companies from denying coverage to those with pre-existing conditions.
“We came across this very important, very thorough, very comprehensive law,” said a GOP strategist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And we plan on fully implementing it once Congress and Donald Trump (R-NY) vote on and sign the legislation repealing the disastrous, unconstitutional Obamacare.”
Repealing Obamacare is one of Chancellor Squirrelhead’s signature campaign promises. Of course, many of his campaign promises have either been broken or unfulfilled.
On April 3, 2016, Chancellor Squirrelhead pledged a repeal of Obamacare and swore to “replace it with something so much less expensive and so much better.”
Public Law 111-148 would seem to fit the bill, but there’s one small problem.
The name of Public Law 111-148? The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.
The small problem? Public Law 111-148 is also known as Obamacare.
“It turns out that Obamacare is a pretty decent health care law,” said a health care professional, speaking on condition of anonymity. One problem is that a significant number of Trumpist Brownshirts – 35% – don’t know that the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act and Obamacare are exactly the same thing.
“The other problem is that the Trumpist Brownshirts are rabid racists who never accepted a black president in Barack Obama (D-IL); they are determined to cleanse all traces of Obama from American history.
“And, in this case, repealing the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act/Obamacare will screw over 20,000,000 Americans. But they don’t care.”
Even when it means screwing over themselves.
The Los Angeles Times ran a story just yesterday about Republican Kathy Watson, a Trump voter who owes her life to Obamacare. Like tens of thousands of Republican Obamacare recipients, she didn’t believe that voting for a Republican White House and a Republican Congress would mean the end of her affordable health care, thinking instead that Chancellor Squirrelhead’s statements were all bluster with no chance of action.
To quote Chancellor Squirrelhead: “WRONG.”
“Sarah Palin (R-AK) warned Republicans of the creation of ‘death panels’ if Obamacare became law,” said a health care industry analyst, speaking on condition of anonymity. “There have been no death panels to-date, but if the law is repealed, there will be. Less coverage plus less options means less live patients.
“But, hey, the insurance companies will be happy. People like Heather ‘EpiPen’ Bresch will be happy. And to people like Chancellor Squirrelhead, putting money into the coffers of the insurance companies and Big Pharma is all that matters.”