D-Force Finds its VOICE

(Washington, DC — March 1, 2017) – In his address to a joint session of Congress last night, Donald Trump (R-NY) made his feelings about the country’s illegal immigrants crystal-clear.

Donald Trump (R-NY)

Donald Trump

As if there were any questions about his feelings before last night’s speech.

In mid-February, Chancellor Squirrelhead and Paul Ryan (R-WI) flip-flopped on the topic of illegal immigrants – and what to do with them.

“Chancellor Squirrelhead and Eddie Munster went back and forth on whether or not a Deportation Force was going to be assembled to hunt down and throw out 11,000,000 people,” said an immigration specialist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “There’s still some question about the status of D-Force, but we have to assume that it has been assembled and is probably already hunting people down.”

In making an announcement last night that would seem to be one more step in his Fourth Reich tightening its grip on America, Chancellor Squirrelhead introduced America to an initiative via the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) that’s sure to be abused in the name of paranoia, fear, and xenophobia:

I have ordered the Department of Homeland Security to create an office to serve American Victims. The office is called VOICE – Victims Of Immigration Crime Engagement. We are providing a voice to those who have been ignored by our media, and silenced by special interests.


“So he’s standing up for people who have been harmed by the illegal actions of illegal immigrants,” said a political scientist, speaking on condition of anonymity. But there are, at most, 11,000,000 illegal immigrants in this country. There are 320,000,000 legal residents in this country. You’d have to assume that a small fraction of crime in this country is committed by the small fraction of those who are here illegally.

“His faux concern is very touching, but shouldn’t he be just as concerned about the victims of crimes committed by the people who actually belong here? Where’s the office at DHS that will protect the victims of crimes perpetrated by domestic criminals? Because we have the FBI, but I still see crimes being committed in this country.”