(Saint Petersburg, Russia — April 3, 2017) – A shrapnel-filled explosive device detonated today between two train stations in Russia’s Saint Petersburg, killing 10 and wounding more than 30.
True to form, Donald Trump (R-NY) took to Twitter to share his misinformed and inappropriate musings just hours after the blast.
The attack occurred on a moving train in the city’s subway system, known as the Saint Petersburg Metro, which had just left the Sennaya Ploshchad Station headed for the Tekhnologichesky Institut Station. The blast, which occurred at 2:30pm local time, blew a hole in the side of the subway car.
The bombing led to the complete shutdown of the Saint Petersburg Metro.
“Even with a complete shutdown, the Saint Petersburg Metro is more reliable than an operating DC Metro,” pointed out a long-suffering DC Metro passenger, speaking on condition of anonymity.
A second, unexploded device was found at the Ploshchad Vosstaniya Station and disarmed by a bomb squad.
While bearing all the hallmarks of a Chechen terrorist attack, police stressed that the investigation is in its earliest stages and would not definitively say whether or not the attack was an act of terror. Russia fought two wars between 1994 and 2000 in Chechnya against Islamic separatists. While Russian troops are no longer stationed in Chechen territory, the Islamic separatists periodically carry out attacks against targets in Russia.
Adding to the confusion: Comments by Chancellor Squirrelhead and his minions, who clearly spoke without any knowledge of what was happening 4,500 miles away.
Chancellor Squirrelhead put out a tweet, which clearly showed his ignorance, blaming perpetrators who may be innocent and not realizing the attack hadn’t taken place in America:
“That’s what happens when you cut the State Department’s budget by $1,519,000,000 [in FY2017],” said a political scientist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And the $10,900,000,000 cut in FY2018 won’t help matters, either.
“Plus, you’d have thought someone at the Pentagon would have alerted him to the location of the attack. But, then again, he knows more than the generals do.”
“As Mr. Trump said, he’ll be taking a $3,000,000 trip to Mar-a-Lago this weekend,” said a spokesman for Press Secretary of the Week Sean Spicer, speaking on condition of anonymity. “He’ll be dining with only his closest millionaire and billionaire lackeys in attendance.
“He’s going, in part, to show the terrorists that he’s tougher than they are. Let them arm themselves with explosives and guns. He’ll be arming himself – less than 300 miles away – with salad, Ken’s Russian Dressing, and a nine-iron.
“He didn’t stay home because of the Bowling Green Massacre, and he’s not going to stay home because of the St. Petersburg Massacre. You can count on that!”
Aside from being misleading, ignorant, and outright stupid, the spokesman’s comments seem to suggest that Chancellor Squirrelhead hasn’t yet remembered that he criticized President Obama (D-IL) mercilessly for playing golf and taking vacations, while promising that as POTUS he would neither take a vacation not play golf. His vacations/golf trips over 12 weeks have cost American taxpayers about $33,000,000 to-date, almost three times the amount spent on Obama’s vacations over a three-year period.