“What About NATO?”

(Brussels, Belgium — July 11, 2018) – When being interviewed by Geraldo Rivera in 1988, former presidential candidate Charles Manson asked, “What about NATO?” Thirty years later, that’s what everyone is asking. Instead of doing the sensible thing and disinviting him, NATO heads of state gave a warm greeting to Chancellor Squirrelhead at this week’s…

Lies, Lies, and Videotape

(Washington, DC — January 25, 2017) – The “I’ll Say Anything That Has No Factual Basis” news tour continues at the White House, and it shows no signs of abating. White House Press Secretary of the Week Sean Spicer and The Skeletal Kellyanne Conway, Counselor to the President and Soulless Angel of Darkness and Death,…

First Inaugural Address of Chancellor Squirrelhead, Illegitimate POTUS

(Washington, DC — January 18, 2017) – The following is an advance copy of Donald Trump’s (R-NY) first inaugural address, which will be delivered to an audience of hundreds worldwide on January 20, 2017. It was obtained at great risk and at a great price; many Bothans died to bring us this information. My fellow…

Manson on the Mend after Mystery Malady

(Corcoran, CA — January 7, 2017) – Charles Manson supporters worldwide breathed a sigh of relief today as word spread regarding the end of their savior’s recent hospitalization. Of course, their sigh of relief also meant his return to a lonely, solitary jail cell at the California State Prison, Corcoran. The 82-year-old inmate, mass-murderer, and 2016…

Trump Declares Victory as First Polls Close

(New York, NY — November 8, 2016) – Donald Trump (R-NY) declared victory in the 2016 presidential election just this very minute. The problem: Only the first six of the 50 States plus the District of Columbia have closed their polling places. Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, South Carolina, Vermont, and Virginia closed their polls at 7:00pm…

Giuliani Unhinged: Dishonor for Hizzoner

(New York, NY — October 3, 2016) – Multiple Republicans continue to defend presidential candidate Donald Trump (R-NY), proving the Orange Menace is not alone in making outrageous, unsubstantiated claims which stretch the bounds of imagination and credibility. While speaking with ABC’s George Snuffleupagus on October 2, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R-NY) channeled…

Manson Dancin’ Over DA’s Death

(Los Angeles, CA — June 9, 2015) – World-famous attorney and author Vincent Bugliosi passed away today at age 80, sending worldwide Charles Manson supporters into frenzied celebrations of dancing like wildly-gyrating chickens. Bugliosi died two months to the day shy of the 46th anniversary of the slaughter of Sharon Tate and four others at…