Cleveland Re-named and Ready for the No-Show

(July 17, 2016 — Nuremberg (formerly known as Cleveland), OH) – On May 23, the Belgian company Anheuser-Busch re-named its “Budweiser” beer, calling it “America” until the November 8 general election. Cleveland has decided to go with a temporary name change as well. For the four days of the Republican National Convention – July 18-21…

Don’t Cry for Him, Argentina

(New York, NY — February 23, 2015) – When Brian Williams was suspended by NBC earlier this month, fellow “journalist” Bill O’Reilly from Fox News came to his defense. Liars apparently travel in pairs. On February 4, Williams admitted embellishing a 2003 story at the beginning of Operation Iraqi Freedom. The original story had his…

Grand Jury Decision in Ferguson a Regular Riot

Ferguson, MO – Officials in Ferguson appealed for calm. Officials in Ferguson appealed for non-violent protests. Officials in Ferguson appealed for peace. Officials in Ferguson appealed for understanding. Instead, they got rioting. The trouble in Ferguson began on August 9, when white police officer Darren Wilson shot and killed unarmed African-American Michael Brown. He was…

Shameful Enshrinement in Jersey City

(Jersey City, NJ) – Lawrence Campbell wanted to be famous. On Sunday, Campbell shot a rookie police officer, sealing his fame – and support from his community. The 27-year-old native of Jersey City – a fine residential area – entered the Walgreens drug store at Kennedy Boulevard and Communipaw Avenue, assaulted a security guard, took…

Soccer in the Mouth

(Brasília, Brazil) – It’s time once again for a rare event that brings countries together. The eyes of the world are focused on Brazil, as hundreds of millions of football fans (“soccer” fans in America) cheer and weep over the 2014 FIFA World Cup. Apparently, it’s also time for conservative shrill political commentator Ann Coulter…