First Inaugural Address of Chancellor Squirrelhead, Illegitimate POTUS

(Washington, DC — January 18, 2017) – The following is an advance copy of Donald Trump’s (R-NY) first inaugural address, which will be delivered to an audience of hundreds worldwide on January 20, 2017. It was obtained at great risk and at a great price; many Bothans died to bring us this information. My fellow…

Torture Report a Torturous Read

(Washington, DC) – The long-awaited Senate Select Committee on Intelligence report, “Committee Study of the Central Intelligence Agency’s Detention and Interrogation Program,” was released to the public on December 9. It was greeted with shock, disgust, disbelief, and anger by both elected officials and average, ordinary, everyday Americans. And those were the good reactions. Many…

Plessy v. Ferguson

(Ferguson, MO) – The images seen on televisions around the world for the past 12 days have been nothing short of incredible. Public executions. Angry mobs. Molotov cocktails. Armored vehicles. Tear gas. Pepper spray. Rubber bullets. Random shootings. Biological warfare. From which far away land are these scenes broadcast? Syria? Somalia? Iraq? Gaza? A GOP…

A Kneed to Look at Performance Review Stress

(Washington, DC) – Most employees find performance reviews to be nerve-wracking, unfair or skewed, and often demeaning. In fact, some would rather die than go through a performance review. And then there are Federal employees at the independent Federal Housing Finance Agency (FHFA) who would contemplate killing to avoid one. Literally. The FHFA is a…

Running for Congress with Contempt

(Savannah, GA) – In today’s post-September 11 world, many people aren’t happy with the Department of Homeland Security’s (DHS) Transportation Security Administration (TSA). Some even intensely dislike the TSA. And then there’s Congressional candidate Bob Johnson (R-GA). Johnson hates the TSA with such venom that he’d “rather see another terrorist attack” on American soil than…

Danish Zoo Continues to Exhibit Prunes for Brains

(Copenhagen, Denmark) – The Copenhagen Zoo and Abattoir is at it again. On February 9, the facility gained international notoriety when it killed Marius, a healthy 2-year-old giraffe, in the name of preventing inbreeding. In spite of efforts to spare Marius, including a petition with over 20,000 signatories and monetary offers from zoos and private…

Russia at a Loss to See How It Can Lose in Crimea Aggression

(Washington, DC) – “Russia is going to lose.” So said Secretary of State John Kerry (D-MA) on the Sunday morning talk shows. He was referring, of course, to the quickly unfolding events in Ukraine, where Russian troops have taken up positions in Crimea. Kerry believes sanctions are the way to stop Russian President Vladimir Putin…