First Inaugural Address of Chancellor Squirrelhead, Illegitimate POTUS

(Washington, DC — January 18, 2017) – The following is an advance copy of Donald Trump’s (R-NY) first inaugural address, which will be delivered to an audience of hundreds worldwide on January 20, 2017. It was obtained at great risk and at a great price; many Bothans died to bring us this information. My fellow…

Torture Report a Torturous Read

(Washington, DC) – The long-awaited Senate Select Committee on Intelligence report, “Committee Study of the Central Intelligence Agency’s Detention and Interrogation Program,” was released to the public on December 9. It was greeted with shock, disgust, disbelief, and anger by both elected officials and average, ordinary, everyday Americans. And those were the good reactions. Many…

Danish Zoo Continues to Exhibit Prunes for Brains

(Copenhagen, Denmark) – The Copenhagen Zoo and Abattoir is at it again. On February 9, the facility gained international notoriety when it killed Marius, a healthy 2-year-old giraffe, in the name of preventing inbreeding. In spite of efforts to spare Marius, including a petition with over 20,000 signatories and monetary offers from zoos and private…