Bowling Green Massacre the “Most Tremendous” Massacre Ever

(Bowling Green, KY — February 4, 2017) – An outpouring of grief, anger, and condolences continued today for those affected by the tragic events of Kentucky’s Bowling Green Massacre. Sadly, there is no such thing as the Bowling Green Massacre. In spite of this fact, recent polls of uneducated, inbred Trumpist Brownshirts show that the…

Bowled Over by Bony Bluster

(Washington, DC — February 3, 2017) – The Skeletal Kellyanne Conway defended Donald Trump’s (R-NY) banning immigrants from seven Muslim-majority countries by citing the infamous Bowling Green Massacre. Actually, it’s un-famous because it never happened. In an interview with MSNBC yesterday, The Skeletal Kellyanne Conway referenced the faux event: “Two Iraqis came here to this…

Conspiracy Theorists Conspire About What Made Scalia Expire

(Marfa, TX — February 16, 2016) – Three days after the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, it seems that the questions keep multiplying exponentially as more facts are revealed. And the nation’s conspiracy theorists are happier than Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas enjoying a can of Coke. The 79-year-old Scalia was found dead…

Major Idiot

(Washington, DC — July 16, 2015) – In the aftermath of the Brian Williams debacle, one might think that television news personalities would be working harder and smarter at their jobs. Apparently that’s not the case. At Wednesday’s White House news conference, dedicated mainly to Tuesday’s nuclear deal with Iran, CBS White House Correspondent Major Garrett put…

CNN Calls Election Day Results – One Day Early

(Atlanta, GA) – CNN has called the results for Election Day 2014. And they’ve done it one day before the majority of voters go to the polls. Traditionally, news outlets don’t release their predictions until the polls close on election night. But in an age of 24-hour news cycles, some “reputable” news organizations want to…