Lies, Lies, and Videotape

(Washington, DC — January 25, 2017) – The “I’ll Say Anything That Has No Factual Basis” news tour continues at the White House, and it shows no signs of abating. White House Press Secretary of the Week Sean Spicer and The Skeletal Kellyanne Conway, Counselor to the President and Soulless Angel of Darkness and Death,…

American Carnage Terminated Thanks to Trump

(Washington, DC — January 22, 2017) – During his inaugural address, Donald Trump (R-NY) referenced the country’s “American carnage” and declared that it would end. Immediately. Mission accomplished. His “American carnage” reference will likely be one of the most-remembered quotes in inaugural address history: “This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.” The…

Planning for Chronic Illness a Chronic Problem

(Rockville, MD — July 13, 2016) – Want to know how to deal with your chronic health problems? Interested in preparing for long-term care during your twilight years? The Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ) is offering assistance to average, ordinary, everyday Americans on both topics. Given today’s political climate, this planning seems more…

Congress Tweaks Zika Virus Funding, Makes Legislation Weaker

(Washington, DC — May 25, 2016) – As the spread of the Zika virus gets closer and closer to the United States, one might think that its elected officials, sworn to “promote the general welfare” of the country’s citizens, might want to take action. To date, Congressional action has taken the form of partisan gridlock…

Electronic Resources Provide Papal Papers, Positions, Proselytizings to Parishioners

(Bethesda, MD — September 22, 2015) – Pope Francis’ itinerary during his first visit to the United States – which will take him to Washington, New York, and Philadelphia – is jam-packed. His schedule includes: an address to a joint session of Congress Mass at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception…

Rats! Cafeteria Closes as Feds are Forced to Forage for Food

(Rockville, MD — June 24, 2015) – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is attempting to make its employees set a national example by eating healthier. Or not at all. FDA employees experienced a rude start to their day today when they discovered their cafeteria was no longer open for business. The Three White Flint…

FDA Trans-Fat Ban Gets to the Heart of the Matter

(Silver Spring, MD — June 16, 2015) – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) today announced a plan to finally ban trans-fats from the foods consumed by average, ordinary, everyday Americans. Predictably, not everyone was happy with the announcement. Trans-fats can clog arteries and cause a variety of coronary diseases. The FDA estimates that thousands…