For DC, Stella Leaves Much to be Desired

(Washington, DC — March 14, 2017) – As Winter Storm Stella continued to bear down upon the Northeast, the dire predictions issued for DC-area towns, cities, and counties appeared to be just that – predictions. Just 24 hours ago, local news outlets were predicting snow from the nor’easter totaling as much as 14″. But as…

A Wall of Deception

(Washington, DC — March 7, 2017) – The Web of Donald Trump’s (R-NY) lies and deceit grows exponentially day-by-day, but it’s unusual that he would break more than one campaign promise in one day. This is that day. Throughout his presidential campaign, Chancellor Squirrelhead promised his legions of Trumpist Brownshirts that he would build a…

DeVos. Divisive. Diverst.

(Washington, DC — February 7, 2017) – For years, the Republican Party has wanted to kill the Department of Education. Today, they got their wish. On a 51-50 vote, the Senate confirmed Betsy DeVos, Donald Trump’s (R-NY) choice for the next Secretary of Education. Two Republican Senators – Lisa Murkowski (AK) and Susan Collins (ME)…

First Inaugural Address of Chancellor Squirrelhead, Illegitimate POTUS

(Washington, DC — January 18, 2017) – The following is an advance copy of Donald Trump’s (R-NY) first inaugural address, which will be delivered to an audience of hundreds worldwide on January 20, 2017. It was obtained at great risk and at a great price; many Bothans died to bring us this information. My fellow…

DEPLORABLE!

(New York, NY — November 9, 2016) – Americans have chosen an anti-Asian, anti-Catholic, anti-disabled, anti-Hispanic, anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim, anti-obesity, anti-Semitic, anti-veteran, homophobic, hypocritical, misogynistic, narcissistic, paranoid, pathologically lying, pro-Klan, psychopathic, racist, schizophrenic, small-membered, sociopathic, treasonous, xenophobic bully as their 45th president. Polls had consistently shown Hillary Clinton (D-NY) winning the presidency with over a 90%…

NWS Not Joking About Hurricane Joaquin

(Silver Spring, MD — October 1, 2015) – East Coast residents raided local grocery and hardware stores for bread, milk, toilet paper, and batteries as Hurricane Joaquin threatened to hit the area sometime this weekend. Joaquin quickly intensified from a tropical storm to a hurricane; its winds were clocked at 40mph Tuesday morning but were…