Illegitimate SCOTUS Derby Ramps Up to a Full Gallop

(Washington, DC – July 9, 2018) — In a made-for-TV event rivaling LeBron James’ classless “The Decision” from July 8, 2010, Chancellor Squirrelhead will announce his pick to replace the retiring Supreme Court justice Anthony M. Kennedy tonight at 9:00pm ET. The announcement will represent one more step in Chancellor Squirrelhead’s dismantling of the nation,…

For DC, Stella Leaves Much to be Desired

(Washington, DC — March 14, 2017) – As Winter Storm Stella continued to bear down upon the Northeast, the dire predictions issued for DC-area towns, cities, and counties appeared to be just that – predictions. Just 24 hours ago, local news outlets were predicting snow from the nor’easter totaling as much as 14″. But as…

A Wall of Deception

(Washington, DC — March 7, 2017) – The Web of Donald Trump’s (R-NY) lies and deceit grows exponentially day-by-day, but it’s unusual that he would break more than one campaign promise in one day. This is that day. Throughout his presidential campaign, Chancellor Squirrelhead promised his legions of Trumpist Brownshirts that he would build a…

DeVos. Divisive. Diverst.

(Washington, DC — February 7, 2017) – For years, the Republican Party has wanted to kill the Department of Education. Today, they got their wish. On a 51-50 vote, the Senate confirmed Betsy DeVos, Donald Trump’s (R-NY) choice for the next Secretary of Education. Two Republican Senators – Lisa Murkowski (AK) and Susan Collins (ME)…

NWS Not Joking About Hurricane Joaquin

(Silver Spring, MD — October 1, 2015) – East Coast residents raided local grocery and hardware stores for bread, milk, toilet paper, and batteries as Hurricane Joaquin threatened to hit the area sometime this weekend. Joaquin quickly intensified from a tropical storm to a hurricane; its winds were clocked at 40mph Tuesday morning but were…

OPM Re-named as Second Data Breach Makes Feds Screech

(Washington, DC — July 10, 2015) – Swearing not to resign in the wake of revelations of a second data breach in as many months at the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), Director Katherine Archuleta did just that today. The first data breach, announced publicly on June 4, spilled the Personally Identifiable Information (PII) of…