A Wall of Deception

(Washington, DC — March 7, 2017) – The Web of Donald Trump’s (R-NY) lies and deceit grows exponentially day-by-day, but it’s unusual that he would break more than one campaign promise in one day. This is that day. Throughout his presidential campaign, Chancellor Squirrelhead promised his legions of Trumpist Brownshirts that he would build a…

DeVos. Divisive. Diverst.

(Washington, DC — February 7, 2017) – For years, the Republican Party has wanted to kill the Department of Education. Today, they got their wish. On a 51-50 vote, the Senate confirmed Betsy DeVos, Donald Trump’s (R-NY) choice for the next Secretary of Education. Two Republican Senators – Lisa Murkowski (AK) and Susan Collins (ME)…

NWS Not Joking About Hurricane Joaquin

(Silver Spring, MD — October 1, 2015) – East Coast residents raided local grocery and hardware stores for bread, milk, toilet paper, and batteries as Hurricane Joaquin threatened to hit the area sometime this weekend. Joaquin quickly intensified from a tropical storm to a hurricane; its winds were clocked at 40mph Tuesday morning but were…

OPM Re-named as Second Data Breach Makes Feds Screech

(Washington, DC — July 10, 2015) – Swearing not to resign in the wake of revelations of a second data breach in as many months at the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), Director Katherine Archuleta did just that today. The first data breach, announced publicly on June 4, spilled the Personally Identifiable Information (PII) of…

Beating Around the Bush

(Miami, FL — June 15, 2015) – Bush 41 (George H.W. Bush). Bush 43 (George W. “Shrub” Bush). Could there be a Bush 45 in the country’s future? Banking on the notorious short-term memories of average, ordinary, everyday Americans, Bush (R-FL) today announced his candidacy for President of the United States. “He should have announced…

Brian Williams Suspended by NBC – No Lie

(New York, NY — February 10, 2015) – NBC today suspended Brian Williams, its lead anchor and host of NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams, for six months without pay. And, as part of his punishment, the show will be re-named NBC Nightly Lies with Brian Williams upon his return. Friends, family, and supporters immediately…

Rice Steamed by Latest Turn of Events

(Baltimore, MD) – Baltimore Raven Ray Rice thought he was in pretty good shape. The former Rutgers athlete was just about to complete his two-game, $529,411 suspension handed down by the National Football League (NFL). After beating the living crap out of fiancé Janay Palmer – leading to his two-game, $529,411 suspension – in an…