Trump Slams Terror in Saint Petersburg – No, the Other One

(Saint Petersburg, Russia — April 3, 2017) – A shrapnel-filled explosive device detonated today between two train stations in Russia’s Saint Petersburg, killing 10 and wounding more than 30. True to form, Donald Trump (R-NY) took to Twitter to share his misinformed and inappropriate musings just hours after the blast. The attack occurred on a…

Swedish Massaker

(Melbourne, FL — February 19, 2017) – Donald Trump (R-NY) chose this location to prove once again that he has the IQ of a meatball. A Swedish meatball. Yesterday’s Nuremberg rally – apparently Chancellor Squirrelhead is still in “campaign mode” – brought to light yet another massacre that’s now attributable to an administration in complete…

Giuliani: “September 11? What’s September 11?”

(New York, NY — August 15, 2016) – The man who became famous for walking around and mumbling “9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11” has now denied that the September 11 attacks ever happened. Psychiatrists and psychologists are now assessing who’s more insane, Rudy “9/11” Giuliani (R-NY) or presidential candidate…

Russian Officials in a Lather Over Ukraine Sanctions

(Moscow, Russia — August 27, 2015) – Facing sanctions stretching on for over a year, Russian President Vladimir Putin is taking steps to fight back against the West. And he isn’t afraid to get his fellow Russians dirty in the process. Claiming that Western cleaning products “contain toxic ingredients” and “do not conform to Russian…

Dental Malpractice

(Hwange, Zimbabwe — July 28, 2015) – A Minnesota dentist has more than just a toothache tonight as he faces international outrage over his killing of a lion during a hunting trip to Zimbabwe. Walter Palmer killed 13-year-old Cecil the Lion on or about July 1 while hunting at the Hwange National Park. While he…

Mitsubishi Offers Apologies and Great Deals

(Los Angeles, CA — July 22, 2015) – Japanese Corporate giant Mitsubishi proved on Monday that it’s never too late to offer an apology. Even if it takes 70 years. On July 20, top executives from Mitsubishi Materials came to Los Angeles and offered in-person apologies to James Murphy, a 94-year-old World War II veteran…

E-mailgate: The Spam Hits the Fan

(Chappaqua, NY – March 12, 2015) – Hillary Clinton’s choice of using a non-government E-mail account to conduct business for the sake of “convenience” may turn out to the most inconvenient decision she’s ever made. While serving as Secretary of State under President Obama (D-IL/Kenya), Clinton – a possible contender for the Democratic 2016 presidential nomination…