To Boldly Go Where No Narcissist Has Gone Before

(Washington, DC — February 1, 2017) – Most of the world today marked the 14th anniversary of the destruction of the Space Shuttle Columbia with somber reflection. And then you have a narcissist’s point-of-view. Donald Trump (R-NY) offered specially-prepared remarks on the anniversary, expanded to include the recent anniversaries of other space tragedies. January 28…

Obama Attacks Mars

(Washington, DC — October 12, 2016) – President Obama (D-IL) vowed yesterday that America would land a man on Mars by the 2030s, making the effort a joint venture between the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) and private industry. Obama’s critics immediately slammed the idea, saying that they were completely against the goal, though…

Rats! Cafeteria Closes as Feds are Forced to Forage for Food

(Rockville, MD — June 24, 2015) – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is attempting to make its employees set a national example by eating healthier. Or not at all. FDA employees experienced a rude start to their day today when they discovered their cafeteria was no longer open for business. The Three White Flint…

Legislators Have a Beef with Nutritional Panel

(Washington, DC — February 20, 2015) – Going against Congressional wishes, a top national nutritional panel released a report urging Americans to steer clear of diets high in red meat, angering Congressmen in the process. Given that Congress says little about the plight of the nation’s poor and underserved, not to mention those Americans who…

Winter Storm Juno a No-Snow for Many

(Washington, DC — January 28, 2015) – As the Northeastern United States endured the wrath of Winter Storm Juno, many marveled at the intensely accurate and intricate forecast provided both by the National Weather Service (NWS) and local weathermen – and how they could be so far off the mark. In fact, they’re all batting…

Metro Goes Retro in Latest Disaster

(Washington, DC — January 19, 2015) – Senior managers for the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority (WMATA) – commonly known as Metro – uncorked the champagne this morning and drank a toast to success. The reason? No passenger deaths in the past week. The story was not the same last Monday, when “an electrical arcing…

Federal Employees’ Viewpoint for 2014 Continues Downward Trend

(Washington, DC) – The results from the 2014 Federal Employee Viewpoint Survey (FEVS) are in. And they’re not good. The FEVS is commissioned by the Office of Personnel Management (OPM). Sent out whenever OPM feels like it, the FEVS accepts input from current Federal employees and ranks their concerns and opinions about their jobs, their…