Turtlehead Puts Biden, Democrats on Notice for SCOTUS

(Washington, DC – November 9, 2020) – One week after Election Day, and two days after being elected the 46th president of the United States, Joe Biden (D-DE) has gotten to work on his 10-week transition to president, along with vice president-elect Kamala Harris (D-CA). Nearly all elected Republicans are having none of it. Few…

Sore Losers

(Washington, DC – November 9, 2020) – Election 2000 was one of the most contested presidential elections in American history. In the end, the race went to the Republican candidate, Shrub (R-TX), and running mate Dick Cheney (R-WY), over the Democratic ticket of Al Gore (D-TN) and his running mate, Joe Lieberman (D-CT). On the…

Chiefly Insane

(Kansas City, MO … or Kansas City, KS – February 6, 2020) – With their Super Bowl LIV victory parade behind them, the Kansas City Chiefs can now move on to their next order of business. Moving. On February 2, shortly after winning the Super Bowl by defeating the San Francisco 49ers 31-20, Chancellor Squirrelhead…

JUST IMPEACHY!

(Washington, DC – February 5, 2020) – Turtlehead’s Sham Senate Impeachment Trial and Cover-up came to a stunning close today, as 53 United States Senators voted to acquit the treasonous Chancellor Squirrelhead from the charges of abuse of power and obstruction of Congress. Turtlehead’s Sham Senate Impeachment Trial and Cover-up lasted three weeks, during which…

New Debility Designated for Deplorables

(Chicago, IL — July 23, 2018) – Racism. Xenophobia. Trump Derangement Syndrome. Pedophilia. Anti-Semitism. Pathological Lying. Inbreeding. Diarrhea of the Mouth. Homophobia. Tourette Syndrome. Foot-in-Mouth Disease. The list of afflictions attributed to the nation’s Deplorables goes on and on and on. Now they’ve got one more to worry about. The American Medical Association (AMA) today…

Chancellor Squirrelhead Attempts to CAPITALIZE on His Iran Threats

(Washington, DC — July 23, 2018) – Chancellor Squirrelhead sought relief from a very bad week – during which he committed treason while outing his complicity in Russia’s rigging of the 2016 presidential election. So, late Sunday night, while relieving himself, he decided to target Iran. “It’s ironic – or maybe a bit sick –…

To Russia with Love

(Helsinki, Finland — July 16, 2018) – Chancellor Squirrelhead’s capitulation to Perestroika Putie at their Helsinki summit #TreasonSummit was thorough and complete, cementing his status as the worst president in American history. Not that he had to try very hard. Perestroika Putie has been let off the hook with regard to rigging the 2016 presidential…

TREASON! Chancellor Squirrelhead Puckers Up for Perestroika Putie’s Patootie

(Helsinki, Finland — July 16, 2018) – After rupturing the NATO alliance, and after destroying the alliance between the United States and the United Kingdom, many expected Chancellor Squirrelhead to cozy up to Russia’s Perestroika Putie, thus hitting a trifecta. Mission Accomplished. In reality, anyone could have seen this coming from a mile away. At…

“What About NATO?”

(Brussels, Belgium — July 11, 2018) – When being interviewed by Geraldo Rivera in 1988, former presidential candidate Charles Manson asked, “What about NATO?” Thirty years later, that’s what everyone is asking. Instead of doing the sensible thing and disinviting him, NATO heads of state gave a warm greeting to Chancellor Squirrelhead at this week’s…