To Russia with Love

(Helsinki, Finland — July 16, 2018) – Chancellor Squirrelhead’s capitulation to Perestroika Putie at their Helsinki summit #TreasonSummit was thorough and complete, cementing his status as the worst president in American history. Not that he had to try very hard. Perestroika Putie has been let off the hook with regard to rigging the 2016 presidential…

TREASON! Chancellor Squirrelhead Puckers Up for Perestroika Putie’s Patootie

(Helsinki, Finland — July 16, 2018) – After rupturing the NATO alliance, and after destroying the alliance between the United States and the United Kingdom, many expected Chancellor Squirrelhead to cozy up to Russia’s Perestroika Putie, thus hitting a trifecta. Mission Accomplished. In reality, anyone could have seen this coming from a mile away. At…

“What About NATO?”

(Brussels, Belgium — July 11, 2018) – When being interviewed by Geraldo Rivera in 1988, former presidential candidate Charles Manson asked, “What about NATO?” Thirty years later, that’s what everyone is asking. Instead of doing the sensible thing and disinviting him, NATO heads of state gave a warm greeting to Chancellor Squirrelhead at this week’s…

Illegitimate SCOTUS Derby Ramps Up to a Full Gallop

(Washington, DC – July 9, 2018) — In a made-for-TV event rivaling LeBron James’ classless “The Decision” from July 8, 2010, Chancellor Squirrelhead will announce his pick to replace the retiring Supreme Court justice Anthony M. Kennedy tonight at 9:00pm ET. The announcement will represent one more step in Chancellor Squirrelhead’s dismantling of the nation,…

Henpecked

(Lexington, VA — June 26, 2018) – The country’s Trumpist Brownshirts are continuing to exhibit their faux outrage regarding one of their own being turned away from a place of business based on moral conviction. Looks like lots of black pots are being called out this week. Republicans in the legislative branch continued to come…

In 2018, a Sorry State of the Uniom

(February 6, 2018 — Washington, DC) – Chancellor Squirrelhead gave the first State of the Uniom address in America’s history on January 30. FLATLINE has acquired an unedited draft of the speech, which is even more racist, rabid, and offensive than the one given last Tuesday. Mr. Speaker, Mr. Vice President, Members of Congress, the…

For Republicans, the CHIPs are Down

(Washington, DC — January 20, 2018) – Recriminations continued on the first day of Shutdown 2018, making it less likely that a breakthrough would come before millions of non-essential Federal government employees and Federal contractors go back to work. At least one White House idiot – um, official – appeared to relish the prospect of…