Mueller to Noodle Around Trump-Russia Connection

(Washington, DC — May 18, 2017) – Former Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Director Robert Mueller III was named as a special counsel yesterday by Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, tasked to investigate Russia’s collusion with Donald Trump (R-NY) and his associates, including but not limited to interference in the 2016 presidential election. Sane Americans…

Don’t Know Much about Black History Month

(Washington, DC — February 2, 2017) – The Trump administration today committed a dual faux pas in trying to be respectful in honoring Black History Month. “Chancellor Squirrelhead” and “respect” don’t exactly go together. At a Black History month event, Chancellor Squirrelhead invoked the name of abolitionist Frederick Douglass: “Frederick Douglass is an example of…

ARMAGEDDON!

(Washington, DC — January 20, 2017) – An adulterous, anti-Asian, anti-Catholic, anti-disabled, anti-Hispanic, anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim, anti-obesity, anti-Semitic, anti-veteran, homophobic, Islamophobic, hypocritical, misogynistic, narcissistic, paranoid, pathologically lying, pro-Klan, psychopathic, racist, schizophrenic, small-membered, sociopathic, treasonous, xenophobic bully is now President of the United States. As the End Times are levied upon us, in Donald Trump (R-NY) America…

Conspiracy Theorists Conspire About What Made Scalia Expire

(Marfa, TX — February 16, 2016) – Three days after the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, it seems that the questions keep multiplying exponentially as more facts are revealed. And the nation’s conspiracy theorists are happier than Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas enjoying a can of Coke. The 79-year-old Scalia was found dead…

Americans Prepare to Say “See Ya!” to Scalia

(Marfa, TX — February 15, 2016) – Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, 79, was found dead at the Cibolo Creek Ranch resort here on Saturday, apparently from natural causes. His death brings to a close a 30-year career on the United States Supreme Court. It also means that the Art Modell Suite on the 14th…

47%

(Washington, DC — March 16, 2015) – “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” So said Senate candidate Abraham Lincoln on June 16, 1858. The reference was to America being divided as half-slave and half-free. Less than three years later, the country split in two and went to war to decide that very notion. Almost…

2009 – End of an Error: FLATLINE Locates Original Version of President’s Farewell Address

(Washington, DC — January 15, 2009) – My fellow Armenians, For eight years, it has been my honor to serve as your President. I realize that I was only elected to serve four of them, but be honest, in retrospect, did you REALLY want Al Gore with his “lockbox” nonsense to live in the White…