Mueller to Noodle Around Trump-Russia Connection

(Washington, DC — May 18, 2017) – Former Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Director Robert Mueller III was named as a special counsel yesterday by Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, tasked to investigate Russia’s collusion with Donald Trump (R-NY) and his associates, including but not limited to interference in the 2016 presidential election. Sane Americans…

For Old Spicey, the Holocaust Was a Gas

(Washington, DC — April 11, 2017) – White House Press Secretary of the Week Sean Spicer today said that Adolf Hitler wasn’t quite as bad as Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. And he made this observation on Passover. Asshole. Old Spicey was referring to the April 4 attack by Droopy Dog on his own people; at…

Squirrelhead Blows Up Syria

(Washington, DC — April 7, 2017) – Facing a horrific attack by the Syrian government on its own citizens using banned chemical weapons, Donald Trump (R-NY) yesterday sent 59 Tomahawk cruise missiles into the war-torn country, deepening America’s involvement in Syria’s six-year-old civil war while practicing a level of hyperhypocrisy not previously seen in human…

Trump Slams Terror in Saint Petersburg – No, the Other One

(Saint Petersburg, Russia — April 3, 2017) – A shrapnel-filled explosive device detonated today between two train stations in Russia’s Saint Petersburg, killing 10 and wounding more than 30. True to form, Donald Trump (R-NY) took to Twitter to share his misinformed and inappropriate musings just hours after the blast. The attack occurred on a…

The Only Thing We Have to Fear is … Our Toasters?

(Washington, DC — March 14, 2017) – The Skeletal Kellyanne Conway opened another chapter in Wiretappgate on Sunday, offering a new theory about the scandal during an interview with the Bergen Record. And it’s doubtful that the Orange Menace could have come up with this one on his own – though it’s not impossible. On…

GOP Obamacare Replacement Will Make America Sick Again

(Washington, DC — March 6, 2017) – Republicans today released the American Health Care Act, their long-awaited version of “repeal and replace” for Obamacare (aka Public Law 111-148 aka the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act aka the Affordable Care Act). And, as has been expected for nearly seven years, the American Health Care Act…

I Spy … A Paranoid Orange Menace

(Washington, DC — March 5, 2017) – Your illegitimate presidential administration is barely six weeks old. You find your handpicked staff producing scandal after scandal after scandal. What’s the best thing to do? Invent a new, totally fictitious scandal! Wiretappgate seems to be the latest installment of the Donald Trump (R-NY) Show, as Chancellor Squirrelhead…