Squirrelhead Blows Up Syria

(Washington, DC — April 7, 2017) – Facing a horrific attack by the Syrian government on its own citizens using banned chemical weapons, Donald Trump (R-NY) yesterday sent 59 Tomahawk cruise missiles into the war-torn country, deepening America’s involvement in Syria’s six-year-old civil war while practicing a level of hyperhypocrisy not previously seen in human…

A Wall of Deception

(Washington, DC — March 7, 2017) – The Web of Donald Trump’s (R-NY) lies and deceit grows exponentially day-by-day, but it’s unusual that he would break more than one campaign promise in one day. This is that day. Throughout his presidential campaign, Chancellor Squirrelhead promised his legions of Trumpist Brownshirts that he would build a…

Another Cryptic Message from Trump’s America

(Philadelphia, PA — February 27, 2017) – Cemetery vandalism and grave desecration is becoming a “norm” in this country. And for the second time in a week, the target was a Jewish cemetery. Just another bonus in Donald Trump’s (R-NY) America. Philadelphia’s Mount Carmel Cemetery had between 75 and 100 tombstones toppled on Saturday night.…

Trump Disapproval Numbers are YUUUGE!!! as Buyer’s Remorse Sets In

(Washington, DC — January 30, 2017) Donald Trump (R-NY) is “winning” at something; he has succeeded in turning at least half the country against him. That didn’t take long. It took Chancellor Squirrelhead a mere eight days – 8 – to reach a 50% disapproval rating, adding to his status as the first illegitimate President…

Uproar over Hillary’s Health Makes Many Ill

(Washington, DC — September 13, 2016) – As the faux furor over Hillary Clinton’s (D-NY) bout with pneumonia continued, many debated why this was such a hot-button issue this campaign season. “It’s possible she’s being targeted for being weak because she’s a woman,” said a psychologist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “That’s what people like…

Giuliani: “September 11? What’s September 11?”

(New York, NY — August 15, 2016) – The man who became famous for walking around and mumbling “9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11” has now denied that the September 11 attacks ever happened. Psychiatrists and psychologists are now assessing who’s more insane, Rudy “9/11” Giuliani (R-NY) or presidential candidate…

In New Hampshire, Candidates Don’t Take Anything for Granite

(Nashua, NH — February 10, 2016) – Choosing not to follow in Iowa’s footsteps, New Hampshire Republicans decided they’d like to see an anti-Hispanic, anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim, anti-Semitic, anti-veteran, homophobic, misogynistic, pathologically lying, racist, xenophobic bully as the next president of the United States. With almost 98% of precincts reporting, Trump received almost 100,000 votes, or…