Illegitimate SCOTUS Derby Ramps Up to a Full Gallop

(Washington, DC – July 9, 2018) — In a made-for-TV event rivaling LeBron James’ classless “The Decision” from July 8, 2010, Chancellor Squirrelhead will announce his pick to replace the retiring Supreme Court justice Anthony M. Kennedy tonight at 9:00pm ET. The announcement will represent one more step in Chancellor Squirrelhead’s dismantling of the nation,…

Gorsuch Nominated to Fill Stolen SCOTUS Seat

(Washington, DC — February 1, 2017) – Donald Trump (R-NY) last evening nominated Colorado Federal Appeals Court Judge Neil Gorsuch to fill the vacant seat left by untimely death of Associate Justice Antonin Scalia. Let four years of filibusters begin. On February 13, 2016, Scalia was found dead at the Cibolo Creek Ranch resort in…

Obama Selects Garland for SCOTUS as #ImpeachThe54 Gains Traction

(Washington, DC — March 16, 2016) – President Obama (D-IL/Kenya) did an about-face today in selecting Merrick Garland, Chief Judge of the US Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit, to serve as the next Supreme Court Justice. Earlier reports had Obama selecting Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) to fill the vacancy…

POTUS Sends Nominee for SCOTUS to Congress for a Votus

(Washington, DC — March 16, 2016) – In spite of persistent Congressional Republican threats, President Obama (D-IL/Kenya) will announce today at 11:00am his nominee to fill the vacant Supreme Court seat. And the choice will reportedly be hard for Congress to turn down. An opening on the Supreme Court became available on February 13, when…

GOP Confirmed to be Against Confirming a New SCOTUS Justice

(Washington, DC — February 18, 2016) – True to form, Senate Republicans – dominated by frothing-at-the-mouth Tea Partyists – are vowing to block or vote down President Obama’s (D-IL/Kenya) nominee for the Supreme Court. And he hasn’t even nominated anyone yet. The SCOTUS seat was vacated with the passing of Justice Antonin Scalia on February…

Conspiracy Theorists Conspire About What Made Scalia Expire

(Marfa, TX — February 16, 2016) – Three days after the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, it seems that the questions keep multiplying exponentially as more facts are revealed. And the nation’s conspiracy theorists are happier than Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas enjoying a can of Coke. The 79-year-old Scalia was found dead…

Americans Prepare to Say “See Ya!” to Scalia

(Marfa, TX — February 15, 2016) – Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, 79, was found dead at the Cibolo Creek Ranch resort here on Saturday, apparently from natural causes. His death brings to a close a 30-year career on the United States Supreme Court. It also means that the Art Modell Suite on the 14th…